A crush is when you have romantic feelings or attraction to someone without being in love. It’s characterized by infatuation, idealization, intense emotions, physical attraction, and uncertainty. Crushes are the initial stage before dating, falling in love, and relationships potentially form.
Having a crush means you think about the person often, want to be around them, and desire their affection. It’s exciting but requires managing expectations.
Crushes are common, especially during the teenage years, but adults get crushes too. If you think you have a crush on someone, there are some common signs that can help confirm your suspicions.
Keep reading to learn more about the meaning of a crush, how to define a crush, and signs that indicate you have a crush on someone.
What Does Having a Crush Mean? (Definition and Meaning)
A crush is defined as having romantic feelings or attraction to someone without being in love.
It’s different from love because with a crush, the feelings are new. You are still getting to know the person and figuring out if they like you back.
The first known romantic usage of the word “Crush” is dated to 1884, in a journal by Isabella Maud Rittenhouse.
The term “crush” comes from the idea that you are “crushed out” on someone, meaning you have strong feelings for them.
Some key things that characterize a crush include:
- Infatuation – Being infatuated with how someone looks, acts, or makes you feel
- Idealization – Putting the person on a pedestal and only seeing their good qualities
- Intense feelings – Feeling nervous, excited, or overwhelmed around your crush
- Physical attraction – Finding the person visually appealing and attractive
- Uncertainty – Wondering if your crush feels the same way about you
A crush is the first stage of romantic interest before dating, love, and getting into a relationship. But there are many different types of crushes.
When you have a crush on someone, It allows you to explore your feelings for that person before deciding if you want to pursue a relationship.
You can also have a crush on someone you have never met. For example, developing a crush on a celebrity, fictional character, or person you talk to online long distance.
Crushes are often casual, short-lived, and based on appearance or fantasy rather than substance. A crush can also be non-romantic in nature. However, crushes can sometimes turn into reciprocated love or long-term relationships.
Common Signs You Have a Crush on Someone
Wondering if your feelings for someone are more than friendly affection?
Here are some common signs that indicate you have a crush:
1. You Can’t Stop Thinking About Them
One of the biggest indicators of a crush is when you can’t stop thinking about the person! You may find yourself daydreaming about them or replaying your interactions over and over.
When you have a crush, the person is always on your mind even when you try to think about something else.
2. You Want to Always Be Around Them
You’ll find excuses to be near your crush, whether it’s taking the long route to walk by their locker or choosing to sit next to them when socializing in a group. You have a strong desire to be close to your crush whenever possible.
3. Your Heart Races Around Them
A sure sign of a crush? When simply being around the person makes your heart flutter and race uncontrollably.
You may also blush, stammer, or get nervous when interacting with your crush due to harboring feelings and being excited around them.
4. You Get Jealous if They’re with Someone Else
If you feel irrationally jealous when your crush laughs with or shows interest in someone else, it’s a clear indicator you have more than friendly feelings.
Even if you aren’t dating, you still feel jealous and wish you were the one making them smile.
5. You Want to Impress Them
Because you hold your crush in such high regard, you’ll find yourself wanting to impress them, whether it’s wearing a cute outfit, showing off your talents, or being funnier. Their opinion matters a great deal so you try hard to come off favorably.
6. You Look for Reasons to Talk to Them
Chatting with your crush is the highlight of your day. You search for openings to have a conversation with your crush, ask them lots of questions, and find excuses to text or message them online. Deep down you enjoy any opportunity to connect.
7. You Remember Small Details About Them
Due to spending a lot of time obsessing over your crush, your brain remembers even the smallest details, from their favorite band to their weekly schedules. This is because your mind subconsciously takes note of anything they say and do.
8. You Want to Comfort Them when They’re Upset
Seeing your crush sad or distressed evokes an instinctual desire to console them. More than a friend, you sincerely want to lift their spirits and be a supportive, caring presence in their life.
9. You Laugh More Around Them
Your crush brings out your playful, funny side. When you’re around them you laugh more easily and wholeheartedly. Their presence has an infectious, positive effect on your mood.
10. You Cancel Plans to Hang out With Them
Turning down friends or family in favor of spending time with your crush is a telling sign. You want to skip other commitments if it means having the chance to be one-on-one with your crush and you’re always available when they ask to hang out.
How Long Does a Crush Last?
The duration of a crush can vary depending on the situation:
- Weeks or months – This is common for crushes based mostly on physical attraction or fantasy. The infatuation stage wears off.
- Years – It’s possible to have an ongoing, unrequited crush for years, especially if you don’t see the person regularly. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
- Indefinitely – If feelings are reciprocated, a crush can evolve into a lasting relationship. Mutual crushes are more likely to endure.
- Moments or hours – Sometimes realizing you have an incompatible personality or different values can cause a crush to disappear quickly.
Crushes are fragile in the beginning and don’t always have longevity.
The more you get to know someone, the more you may realize your fantasy is very different from reality. But for crushes with relationship potential, feelings can deepen steadily over time with the right conditions.
Should You Act on Your Crush?
Wondering what, if anything, you should do about your crush?
Here are some dos and don’ts:
DO:
- Flirt subtly to express your interest and see if they flirt back.
- Make more opportunities to talk one-on-one and get to know each other.
- Confide in a trusted friend who can give you advice or perspective.
- Ask them to hang out in a group setting first to ease into spending time together.
DON’T:
- Confess your feelings unless you’re fairly sure they are reciprocated. Rejection can damage a friendship.
- Come on too strong with gifts, constant texts, or possessive behavior. Keep things light and casual.
- Obsess over the person or put them on a pedestal. Get to know their flaws too.
- Ask invasive questions about who else they like or are dating. Avoid seeming jealous.
When you have a crush, it’s important to keep expectations realistic. With patience and care, you can nurture a crush into a relationship that makes you both happy!
The most meaningful relationships often start out as innocent crushes.
When to Walk Away From a Crush
As exciting as crushes can be, there are times when it’s healthier to walk away:
- If the crush is on someone unavailable, in a relationship, married, or with someone else.
- When pursuing the crush crosses ethical lines or conflicts with your values.
- If the crush distracts from academics, work, family, friends, or self-care.
- When the crush lasts for years without reciprocation and prevents you from moving on.
- If the crush turns into an unhealthy obsession that hurts your self-esteem.
- When the crush is based on unrealistic fantasy or projecting desires onto someone.
- If the pursuit causes distress or places you in an unsafe situation emotionally or physically.
Walking away allows healing, rediscovering confidence, and opening yourself up to new possibilities. Though hard, redirecting your focus can help you pursue healthier relationships.
Final Thoughts
Experiencing a crush on someone is an exciting phase filled with butterflies, giggling, and euphoria. It signals the beginnings of romantic interest before dating and relationships potentially develop.
Pay attention to the signs to know if your feelings are more than friendly affection. While crushes motivate us to put ourselves out there, they require self-awareness too.
With maturity, you can nurture crushes that uplift you and walk away from ones that prove unhealthy.
Exploring the ups and downs of developing a crush on someone helps you better understand yourself and what you need in relationships.