Having a crush on someone is often seen as an early stage of romantic interest. But is that always the case? Can a crush be non-romantic in nature?
So is a crush always romantic? No, a crush is not always romantic in nature. While crushes are commonly seen as indicating romantic interest, there are also platonic, non-romantic types of crushes. Crushes originate from our innate human need for social attachment and belonging.
The specific variety of crush depends on the underlying emotional need being expressed, whether it be romantic, a desire for close friendship, admiration of qualities, or attraction to confidence and power.
So while romantic interest is one kind of crush, crushes can also be driven by attachment, esteem, or power rather than romantic or sexual desire.
The motivations underlying a crush are what determine whether it is strictly platonic in nature or consists of romantic intentions.
Varieties of Crushes
There are many different varieties of crushes based on the underlying emotional need or desire of the person having them.
Here are some of the varieties of different crushes someone may have:
Romantic Crushes
This is the typical crush most people think of when they hear the word “Crush” or ask themselves “What is a crush?“. You’re attracted to someone and want to be in a romantic relationship with them.
Romantic crushes are fueled by physical and emotional attraction.
With romantic crushes, you idealize the person. You want their affection, to kiss them, go on dates – all the typical romance stuff.
Attachment Crushes
These non-romantic crushes are based on feelings of attachment. You feel emotionally drawn to the person and want to be close to them.
It may be mistaken for romantic love. But the distinction is you don’t have a sexual or romantic desire. You just feel attached and get fulfillment from being around them.
This often happens with friendships. You can develop an intense bond that mimics a crush. But you don’t actually want to date them.
Esteem Crushes
This is admiration for someone’s talents or qualities. You idolize them and feel compelled to impress them.
For example, someone may idolize a musician, actor, athlete, or even a teacher and mentor. They respect that person and want their attention or approval.
While not romantic, esteem crushes feed our self-esteem. Being admired by someone we also admire is validating.
Power Crushes
This refers to being drawn to someone because of their level of confidence, status, wealth, or power. It’s not necessarily romantic – you’re more enamored by what they represent.
People with power crushes tend to fawn over the person and try to gain their favor. It’s similar to esteem crushes. But it’s distinctly motivated by the person’s level of power or authority.
Signs a Crush Is Romantic in Nature
While crushes are generally harmless, how can you tell if it’s turning into deeper romantic feelings or love?
Here are some signs:
- You think about a long-term relationship with them.
- You see personality traits or flaws but still really like them.
- Physical attraction has deepened into emotional intimacy.
- Your happiness depends on their affection towards you.
- You care deeply about their well-being and happiness.
- You miss them when apart and can’t stop thinking about them.
If it’s just a mild crush, you may still fantasize about romance. But you’re not quite emotionally invested. Love goes beyond just attraction – it’s commitment and truly caring.
Healthy Ways to Handle a Romantic Crush
Experiencing romantic crushes is very normal. And even healthy, since human beings are wired for connection.
Here are tips for managing romantic crushes in a healthy way:
- Accept It’s Okay – Don’t feel guilty or shameful. Crushes happen, even when we don’t want them. Avoid suppressing or judging yourself.
- Set Boundaries if Needed – If it’s romantic and inappropriate, limit interactions to keep things professional.
- Don’t Obsess or Idealize Them – This creates unrealistic expectations. Enjoy the feelings but keep things in perspective.
- Explore the underlying need – Figure out if it’s romantic or platonic in nature. What possible need or void is this person filling in your life?
- Channel It in A Positive Way – Harness the excitement into being more social or trying new activities.
- Pursue other connections – Build ties with others so this person doesn’t become your sole focus.
Final Thoughts
Having a crush is a common human experience. But crushes aren’t always romantic – they may be driven by attachment, admiration, or attraction to power.
Pay attention to the underlying emotional need behind your crush. If it’s unhealthy, set boundaries. But overall, crushes can be fun and motivational if handled wisely!
