What do you do if you’re starting falling for a guy who is also your friend? While it’s definitely not uncommon for girls and guys to be good friends, even best friends who do everything together. How do you handle your growing feelings for him, and how to tell a friend you like him without ruining your friendship?
Is it really true that there is no such thing as being ‘just friends’ between a guy and a girl? While many girls would agree, and say that in their experience it’s hard to manage love or friendship with a guy. In many cases, it comes down to the signals you both send each other. Also how strong your friendship really is.
To be lovers, or share affectionate and caring feelings for one another. You first have to be firm friends. This is the foundation in which most of the relationship with him will grow from or flourish.
But what do you do if you like him, and have growing feelings for him? You don’t want to risk ruining your friendship or what you have him just because of how you feel. Or do you, and is it actually worth the risk?
Telling a friend you like him is probably up there with one of the hardest things you can do. Your mind will be a constant swirl of emotions, thinking about him, his feelings, the worry of rejection, or how you can minimize any damage to your friendship.
The good news is that despite your growing feelings for him, or the fact you may want to be in a loving relationship with him. There are many things you can do to let him know how you feel, and minimize the risk to your friendship at the same time.
If you want to tell him you like him without ruining your friendship. Here are some of the best tips to follow to ensure he knows you like him, and make it feel a lot less like one-sided love.
Tips For Telling A Friend You Like Him
These tips for telling a friend you really like him, or love him will help you to get the message across. The first steps will always be to consider where you stand with him, and how best to approach things.
Then finally you can let your feelings be known. Or make him realize that your feelings and intentions go above and beyond just being friends with him.
1. Think About How Close You Both Really Are
Before you can truly reveal your feelings to him, or tell him that you like him. You first need to consider your overall friendship together. How close are you to him already, and how much does he mean to you as a friend right now?
If you are already close friends, or even BFF’s. Then telling him will be a lot harder as you would need to consider how this would affect the close friendship that you already have together.
When you realize you’re not that close, or that he is someone that comes in and out of your life. The risk may be diminished, as telling him how you feel would mean you have a lot less to lose and possibly more to gain.
Sure, you don’t want to lose him or ruin things with him either way. However, if you build up an overall picture of your friendship, and address the pros and cons of telling him how you genuinely feel. It will go a long way towards realizing the best approach to take with him.
2. Consider The Best Way To Tell Him
Do you have the confidence just to tell him outright, or is the subtle approach more your style? Considering the best way to tell a friend that you like him is not going to be easy.
Your heart is telling you just to blurt it out, and confess your feelings for him wholeheartedly. But your mind is persuading you to wait, be subtle and cautious with how you approach this with him.
When thinking about the best way to tell him that you like him. You first need to consider the impact your words or the revelation of your feelings may have on him.
There are pros and cons. Much of how he will react to what you say will depend on how well you have read the situation with him, and how he actually feels about you.
The Pros:
- You finally get to share your feelings in an open setting with him.
- He might tell you that he feels the same way.
- Your friendship may become closer once he knows how you truly feel.
- He might see you in a new light now that your feelings are known.
- He might also like you and want a relationship with you.
The Cons:
- He might not know how to react after you have told him.
- He may not feel the same way about you or share your feelings.
- He might wish you had told him sooner.
- He could think you weren’t honest or truthful with him.
- He doesn’t want to be in a relationship, and wants to just ‘be friends’.
Any way you look at things. You will never know what the real pros and cons of telling him really are unless you actually tell him and are truthful with your feelings. He might just want to be friends, or he might want something more.
3. Don’t Bottle Up Your True Feelings About Him
If you bottle up your true feelings or try to hide and disguise your thoughts about liking or loving him. You are never truly going to know the truth about how he might feel, or give yourself an outlet to share these emotions with someone else.
One of the worst feelings in the world is when you are required to hide your love for someone else. You want to tell them, but external factors and how you think they might react stop you from doing this. It can be painful, emotional, and downright hard.
You need to consider the consequences that bottling up your emotions and feelings for him could be having on yourself. Are your hidden feelings actually affecting your friendship already with him? And is there really that much of a risk if you tell him how you genuinely feel?
Only you can decide. But ensure that any decision that you choose to make also takes into account what’s best for you as well, not just him.
4. Pick The Perfect Time To Tell Him
It’s one thing to consider the best way to tell him that you like him, but it’s another to pick the ideal time to tell him and reveal your feelings.
Timing can be everything when it comes to confessing your feelings of like or love for someone. You have to try and pick the perfect moment, and ensure they are ready and not distracted from what you might have to say.
Many of the reasons you might hold back from telling him are that the timing feels off, or does not seem right. You need to know he’s ready to hear you out, and also has enough time to talk to you, or for you both to have a deep conversation.
Think carefully about when it’s actually the perfect time to tell him. Consider the things he has going on in his life, or if there are any other external factors that may affect how he responds to you and your feelings.
5. Keep It Casual
Keeping it casual when telling a friend that you like him will usually be the best approach to take. If you act casual, talk to him lightly about your feelings or even make jokes and be playful with him. It will be much easier to get the message across.
Being casual will make him feel fully comfortable and more at ease with what you are trying to say to him. If you are way too serious, or appear worried or not yourself. He will surely notice this change in your behavior, and may even change his own as a result.
Just be yourself, keep it casual with him, and let the conversation and your actions flow naturally. Try not to come on too strong, or force what you are needing to reveal on him. Take it one step at a time.
6. Be Careful With Your Words
No matter how clear your intentions are towards him, or how clearly you feel you can represent to him how you truly feel. The words that you say to him will always have the biggest impact when trying to make your message clear.
Being careful with the words you use to tell him how you feel is going to be seriously important. You can’t just blurt out a tirade of words confessing your undying love for him. There needs to be a considered, thoughtful approach to exactly what words you want to say to him.
If you are worried about telling him you like him, and the possibility this may affect your friendship. The words you use should always be catered towards the exact situation you find yourself in. Pick the perfect words for him, and for him alone to hear.
Keep your words honest, open, and be real with him about your true feelings. If he can hear the sincerity in your words, and they are delivered to him in a genuine way. You can almost guarantee he will take notice, and take on board what you are trying to tell him.
7. Be Wary Of Who Knows You Like Him
It pays to be mindful about who else knows your true feelings, or that you like him. If you wish to tell your other friends or discuss the best way to approach him. Be certain that what you say has no chance of getting back to him.
This is especially true if you are still not ready to approach him and tell him exactly how you feel. You may wish to confide in your other friends to figure out when and how is the best time to address it with him.
The last thing you would want is him finding out your true feelings from a third party, or through another friend’s gossip. This may lead him to think you couldn’t be open and honest with him, and may inadvertently affect the friendship or relationship you currently have with him.
8. Don’t Ask Him Out Right Away
Once you have let your feelings be known by him. It’s important that you don’t try to push things forward or move too quickly. You have to remember this is the first time he is hearing your feelings of like or love.
Put simply, he needs time to mull things over and absorb the words you have said to him. You can’t rush his feelings, or look for him to immediately mirror yours.
Don’t ask him out right then and there! Give him time to process and get his head around the idea that you really like him. If you are close friends or BFF’s this can be a lot to take on board for him.
He might have many questions, feelings to share, or may even be finding the words to explain to you that he doesn’t share your feelings. Give him time and don’t rush things or you could find it’s your hasty actions that push him away.
9. Prepare Yourself For A Bad Reaction
No matter how you plan to reveal your true feelings to him. Telling a friend that you like him is never going to be without its risks.
What you say to him could affect how he sees you and how he views the friendship moving forward. So preparing yourself for a bad reaction and being ready to accept whatever this could be is seriously important.
You can’t reasonably expect that the only possible reaction he might have will be a good one. You need to be ready for a negative reaction as well. He may not share your feelings, or feel stunned that you’ve turned things from being close friends to you wanting a potential relationship.
So whatever the case may be. Always be prepared for the worst possible outcome. Telling a friend you like him is never without its risks, and this is especially true if they are already a close friend or your BFF.
10. Keep Dropping Hints For Him
If you’re still working up towards telling him that you like him. A good way to keep his attention or perhaps even make him have some considerations of his own is to drop hints.
Dropping hints for him is a way to subtly suggest that you like him, without actually saying it. You can drop hints like…
- Being a little flirty over text.
- Asking him some seemingly innocent intimate questions.
- Discussing his past relationships.
- Telling him you can’t believe he’s single.
- Giving him constant compliments.
- Inviting him at every opportunity.
- Dressing up to impress him.
By being suggestive, or dropping constant hints to him. There is a chance that he may realize what is going on, but also actually like it. He might begin to see you less as a friend, and more as a potential love interest.
[Read: 10 Easy Tips To Make Him Addicted To You]
While it’s not always easy to pull this off with some hints coming across just as you ‘being friendly’ or wanting to know more about him. If you get yourself used to doing it or become clever with how you choose to do it. It may actually begin to change how he feels about you, without you ever openly saying how you feel.
11. Show You Have A Side He’s Never Seen
If you are good friends with him or have been close friends for a while. It’s likely that he would have grown accustomed to how you act around him or other people. He may be able to second guess your next move and what makes you tick.
However, the real secret to showing a friend you like him without actually saying it is to reveal a new side of yourself they are not familiar with. While still fully being yourself, if you reveal parts of your personality or even a spontaneity and humor he has yet to discover. He will surely take notice and you’ll have his full attention.
To show him a different side of yourself you can…
- Build him up, be positive, and supportive towards everything he does.
- Take your humor to another level with him, with inside jokes and funny text messages.
- Show him you can be spontaneous, and that pinning you down is not that easy!
- Be adventurous, and plan exciting or fun things to do with him.
- Reveal your romantic side by getting him thoughtful gifts, or paying him sweet compliments.
These are just some of the ways you can reveal a side of your real-self that he may not have already seen.
[Read: The Things Men Secretly Want From You In A Relationship]
If you think about how you already act around him, or the areas you both may have become too comfortable with, and be in something of a ‘Friendship rut”. This will help you discover which areas of your friendship could potentially lead to him seeing a new side of you.
12. Show You Care For Him And Be His Rock
When you can show him that you really care for him and that you are always there for him when he needs someone to talk to. The battle for a possible relationship is already halfway won.
Like any healthy relationship, while you are friends with him if you can be a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent problems to about work or other things. He will definitely start to build up a mental picture about you being someone he can rely on.
Essentially you are already providing him with something similar to the ‘Girlfriend experience’. Much like if he was already your boyfriend if he comes to you for advice or always opens up to you about his feelings and thoughts. It’s a good sign you are becoming seriously close.
The next step is simply to be his rock. Be someone who is always there for him, and also find an opportunity to tell him that you like him or how you feel too. Don’t just be there for him, he needs to be there for you too!
If you already act like his girlfriend and cover most of the bases when it comes to supporting him emotionally. It won’t be a far stretch for his imagination to actually consider the possibility of you being his actual girlfriend or love interest.
Things To Avoid When Telling A Friend You Like Him
What are the things you should avoid doing when telling a friend that you like him without ruining your friendship together?
While your feelings for him may be strong and your heart aches every moment that you know he doesn’t understand how you genuinely feel about him. Telling him how you truly feel will never be without its risks.
Your actions and how you perceive your friendship will have an important bearing on how your message or emotions are received by him. If you are too hasty or don’t fully think through the situation you find yourself in. It can have an impact not only on your friendship but on the possibility of love.
Here are some of the key things to avoid doing when telling a friend you like him:
1. Coming On To Him Way Too Strong
Don’t come on to him way too strong and try to rush things. If you bombard him with your feelings in a way that feels overbearing or unexpected. It could be a bit of a shock for him, or perhaps even a turn-off.
You need to give him plenty of time to think and get used to the idea that you like him. If you’re constantly trying to flirt or are being suggestive towards him. He might wonder why you’ve changed from his friend into someone who’s now obsessed with him.
2. Starting Rumours To Get His Attention
Never try to get the message across to him that you like him by starting rumors. If you start going around creating rumors or hearsay about your true feelings towards him. You may find that what you want to say to him is lost in translation.
With rumors, you frequently have no control over how they are spread and delivered. So the chances that it has a negative impact on you will be severely increased. Focus on messages directly from the heart and don’t rely on others to tell him how you genuinely feel.
3. Picking The Worst Possible Moment
Timing is everything when you are planning to tell a friend that you like him. Try not to confront him with your feelings or thoughts when it’s definitely not a good time for him.
[Read: Worrying Signs He Is Not Ready For A Real Relationship With You]
If he’s got a lot going on in his life, has issues with his family, or has just broken up with his girlfriend. It’s probably not the best time to approach him. Instead, be supportive and be there for him. Eventually, you will know and realize when it’s the perfect time to talk.
4. Not Realising He Only Sees You As A Friend
If he makes it obvious that you’re both ‘just friends’ and constantly makes remarks about being your BFF and treats you just like his other friends. This may be because he’s not looking for a relationship. You’re just a good friend to him.
While it can be hard to take or accept. The clues to how he views your friendship can be firmly found in what he says to you, and how he treats you compared to others. You can still let him know how you feel, but there is no guarantee he will reciprocate these feelings.
5. Telling Other Friends You Like Him
Telling your other friends that you like him is not without its own risks. Sure, it’s natural to want to tell your other friends how you feel about him and seek advice on the matter. But it doesn’t always work out that way.
Put simply depending on your friends. Some people are not good at keeping secrets and others may find it funny at your expense that you like the guy your good friends with.
It’s sometimes better to seek advice from someone outside your friendship bubble. They will give a fresh perspective and won’t be influenced by any insider goings-on.
6. Getting In The Way Of His Current Relationship
If you want to tell your friend you like him but he’s already in a relationship. This is not a good idea!
By telling him you’re essentially coming between him and his current partner. Not only that, but you’re risking your friendship with him by showing that you do not respect who he chooses to spend his time with.
If he’s in a relationship it’s a no-go unless you want some serious drama! In the meantime just be a good friend to him, be there for him, and be sure to be ready and waiting to reveal your true feelings when he happens to longer be in a relationship.
7. Coming Between Him And His Crush
If he confides in you about his love interests or possible relationships. Don’t get in the way! If he’s willing to talk to you about other girls he’s interested in. It’s a sign he trusts you, but also a sign he may view you as ‘just a great friend’.
Unless you fit his criteria for the perfect woman or he’s telling you just to make you jealous. If you choose to come between him and his crush it could be a surefire way to embarrass yourself.
Confessing your feelings to him just to stop him from giving attention to other girls is not a good look. You are essentially putting your friendship on the line and risking it all in the hopes he will share your feelings. But what if he doesn’t?
Just like picking the worst possible moment, you are choosing to tell him due to your fear of losing him. You need to pick the right moment and it’s definitely not the time to tell him if he is fixated on his new crush.
Ways To Tell Him You Like Him Without Saying It
If you want to tell a friend that you like him and need a way to tell him your true feelings with your actions or body language alone. Here are a few tips you can use to make it obvious that you like him and build intimacy with him.
1. Make Eye Contact With Him
Making eye contact with him during conversation is a great way to show your interest and convey your feelings to him. Many things can be said with the eyes alone, so by gazing at him or giving glances that show you are hanging on his every word. He will start to realize that you ‘do’ really like him.
Prolonged eye contact is a strong indicator of attraction.
2. Be Playful And Laugh At His Jokes
When you are playful around him and prepared not to take yourself too seriously or show your humorous side. This is a trait many guys simply love to see!
If you laugh at his jokes or find lots of ways to amuse each other and have fun. You are not only growing your friendship to another level. You are also building a better bond with him and increasing the intimacy too.
If he sees you as a fun person to be around. It’s going to feel a lot more natural for him to see you as a potential girlfriend. As you already tick many of the boxes he may be looking for.
3. Say His Name When You’re Talking To Him
When we hear someone say our name it’s bound to get our attention. We are hardwired to listen out for our name being said by someone else.
So it can come as no surprise that you mentioning his name or referring to his full name is a great way to guarantee he’s listening to you.
If you say his name during a conversation or amongst others, it’s a way of subtly indicating how important he is to you. You are making a statement, and it’s often a suggestion of you being willing to assign importance to this person.
The same is true when it comes to nicknames. If you’ve gone as far as to customize a unique name that only you refer to them by. This goes above and beyond just being friends and shows you have a higher degree of affection for this person in your life.
4. Touch Him, Casually During Conversation
The power of your touch should not be overlooked when it comes to telling a friend you like him without saying it. While it’s not the time to get seriously intimate, especially if you’re still friends and trying to find the perfect way to reveal your feelings to him.
There are still many ways you can use touch during deep conversations with him to help you express affection and your feelings. They will also drop many clues and hints that you like him.
- Resting your arm on his shoulder.
- Leaning into him while you talk.
- Stroking his hair in a playful way.
- Resting your hand on top of his.
- Placing your hand on his knee.
- Massaging the palm of his hand while you talk.
There are many ways in which you can be a little more intimate with him using touch without crossing any boundaries. If he’s comfortable or happy for you to playfully touch him, or rest your hands, arms, or even legs on his lap. It’s a great way to bond and also become familiar with being far more affectionate with him.
5. Compliment Him Often
Giving him compliments and many of them will be the backbone of any strategy for revealing you really do like him. What you say to him matters, and if you say nice things about his appearance or things you think he’s done really well. He will remember.
[Read: Cute Love Quotes For Him Or Her]
You want him to feel good about himself, and also realize that it was you that got him feeling that way. If you compliment him often or support him and everything he does. You probably won’t have to reveal with your words that you like him. He would guess and is likely to make this assumption on his own.
6. Say Goodbye To Him Like You Mean It
Saying goodbye to a friend if you have feelings for him is never going to be easy. You might see every goodbye as a missed opportunity to tell him how you really feel, or you might wonder when you might get another chance.
This is why saying goodbye to him like you mean it matters. You can’t simply let him go with a casual goodbye, you need to do something that makes a lasting impression on him and perhaps reveals more of your inner thoughts or feelings.
If you make him realize that goodbyes are a big deal to you and that you hate to see him go or will miss him. Make this clear with your actions.
Embrace him and give him a hug to let him know what he means to you, and don’t second guess when your next encounter will be. Plan ahead, and ensure the next time you get together is set in stone with him before he leaves.
