When you start to feel like your boyfriend doesn’t care anymore and it seems like he’s beginning to treat the relationship like a chore. Is the relationship destined to fail, or is there a chance he can change his ways?
If you believe your boyfriend no longer cares about you or the future of your relationship together. It can be a heartbreaking, stressful, and draining situation to find yourself in.
You want things to go back to the way there were early on in the relationship. You also need your boyfriend to be honest about his real feelings and do things to show he truly cares for you.
However, what do you do when your boyfriend has stopped making the effort and no longer cares. Should you try to fix things yourself, or just move on and find someone who gives you the care you deserve?
What To Do When You Feel Like Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Care About You?
Do you keep pursuing your boyfriend to find out if he really cares about you? Or is the only option to cut your losses and accept the fact he no longer cares about you and the relationship?
While the answer will never be simple and will depend on many of the reasons you believe he has stopped caring in the first place. There are still many things you can do to find out if your boyfriend still cares, or if a breakup is the only option.
1. Figure Out What You Want
Try to be certain about what you really want out of the relationship and from your boyfriend. Pay close attention to what your feelings are telling you and follow your heart when figuring out what needs to change.
Be clear in your mind about what you think your boyfriend is not doing or needs to do for you to show that he cares. Discover what you really need from him in order for things to change and for the relationship to succeed from your perspective.
2. Talk To Him
It’s time to talk to him. Have a conversation with your boyfriend to address your concerns about the relationship and discuss real feelings. If you feel hurt, stressed, or upset let him know.
You need to talk to your boyfriend openly before there can be any chance of real changes being made. You also need to hear his side of the story and see things from his perspective.
Be honest with him and let him know that you feel like he doesn’t care for you anymore. Don’t hide your real thoughts or feelings from him. Open up and be truthful.
3. Get Him To Open Up
Allow your boyfriend to open up and share his thoughts or feelings. If you allow him to share his viewpoint or the reasons why you might feel like he doesn’t care anymore. It may shed some light on issues in the relationship that need to be resolved by you both.
Give him time to speak and open up. This may take some time, but ensure you are considerate of your boyfriend’s feelings and prepared to be patient to find the root cause of the problems you are having.
4. Learn What He Wants
Ask your boyfriend what he wants from you and the relationship. Does he see a future with you still firmly in the picture? Look for honesty from him and accept nothing less.
[Read: Things Men Want From You In A Relationship]
He may have a very different idea of how he views your future relationship together. Or he may share your views on still wanting to be together.
If his answers are truthful and what you want to hear. Consider this deeply when thinking about how to resolve the situation and moving forward.
5. Rethink The Relationship With Him
After talking to your boyfriend and considering everything he has said deeply. Is he still the guy you want to be with and are your feelings about him not caring really worth your time?
Rethink and re-evaluate everything about your relationship and follow your heart when considering what to do next.
[Read: Signs Your Boyfriend Isn’t Really In Love With You]
Do you still want him to be your boyfriend despite him finding it hard to show you he cares about you? Is your heart telling you he’s worth fixing things for? Only you can decide what the next steps are for your relationship.
6. Give Him Opportunities To Show He Cares
Give him every opportunity to show that he cares about you and the relationship. Allow him time to make changes and solve problems that make him seem like he doesn’t care.
Never shut him out or criticize his efforts. Enable him to prove he’s a guy that cares for you and that you’re the only one he wants to be with.
Make it easier for him by telling him about the kind of care you want to see from him in the relationship. But also ensure you give care in return, no healthy relationship can be one-sided.
7. Allow Him To Chase You Again
Many guys love the thrill of chasing and pursuing a girl’s affections. So let him chase you again like he did at the start of your relationship.
If he’s still prepared to chase you and still eager or willing to win your affections. It will prove he does really care and that he just wanted to chase you again all along.
[Read: Why Do Guys Chase Girls?]
Bring some of the excitement of new love back to your relationship, and find a new balance for giving and receiving love or affection with one another.
8. Don’t Beg For His Love
If you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t care anymore. Do not beg for his love. If he doesn’t want to change for you and is playing games with your heart. Never fall into the trap of appearing needy or clingy too.
Relationships that are one-sided or that don’t hold an even balance for love can have a habit of turning toxic quickly. He will feel pestered by you, and you will feel upset or lonely due to the lack of love received.
You should never have to beg for his love. It should only ever be given by him freely if he genuinely wants to be with you. If he doesn’t change or makes you beg. It’s time to accept the hard truth and leave him for someone deserving of your love.
9. Find Your Own Happiness
Your own happiness should always come first. Finding a way to be happy away from a boyfriend who doesn’t seem to care is a great way to rationalize what is happening.
It gives you time to think and will greatly improve your mood especially if you are repairing after a breakup.
[Read: How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Need Space]
Start new hobbies and interests, or visit new places you have never been before. Make new friends, meet new people, and generally just improve how you live your life.
Don’t allow a boyfriend who doesn’t care to weigh you down. Start living your life the way you want to live it and find happiness through new life experiences.
10. Focus On Friends
Friends always have your back. They also have a habit of allowing you to see your relationship problems more clearly.
Focus on maintaining your friendships and use them as a helpful tool to discuss life’s problems.
By talking to your friends about your boyfriend’s lack of caring. It may help reveal what they think he is really doing. An outside perspective is always helpful and these words can be powerful if they come from best friends who do care for you.
11. Care For Yourself
Care for yourself first and foremost. Don’t allow your boyfriend or his habits to stop you from loving yourself.
Do things that improve your quality of life and take your mind off your boyfriend. Your mental and emotional health is important too and should not be overlooked.
Do things that give you a buzz or a high and that make you feel like progress is being made to improve your lifestyle. Go exploring on hikes, start swimming at the gym, and improve your mental and physical health.
There are countless things you can do to care for yourself first, and they all have a habit of stopping you from worrying about a boyfriend who doesn’t seem to care.
12. Breakup With Him
When you have talked to your boyfriend and he’s still unwilling to make a change to show that he cares. It’s time to accept the truth and breakup with him so that you can move on with your life.
Breaking up should only ever be a last resort. It should only be considered if you have re-evaluated both sides of the story and hold all the facts.
However, if your boyfriend has no intention of caring for you or things begin to get worse between you. It may be time to call it quits and find someone who’s willing to give you the care you truly deserve.
How Do You Know When He Doesn’t Care Anymore?
When he doesn’t care anymore, he will make spending time with you feel like it’s a chore for him. You’re not his priority, you are his last-minute option. He’ll make excuses to avoid spending time with you and dodge questions about your future relationship together.
If your boyfriend has stopped caring about you or the relationship. Many of the signs will be easy to spot if you know what to look for. He will start to do things that seem out of character and make you feel like he’s changing for the worse.
What things should you look for which prove to you that he no longer cares for you or the relationship?
1. You Are Not His Priority
He doesn’t see you as a priority in his life anymore. When he treats you like his “last minute” option and doesn’t consider you when making plans for his week. It’s a surefire sign he’s stopped caring.
He’s actively placed you low down on the list of things he believes are a priority in his life. Either because he thinks other things are more important, or so he can prioritize you when it suits him.
2. You Always Contact Him First
You call him, you text him, but he never makes the first move. If you’re always the one contacting him first. It’s yet another clue that he could be beginning to care a lot less than before.
Unless he’s shy or rarely available to talk. He should also be prepared to contact you first in order to show that he’s still interested.
3. He Blocks You From His Life
When he never wants you to meet his family and his friends are strictly off-limits to you. He’s blocking you from his life and it’s a sign he doesn’t care about you enough to allow you into the inner circle.
If you’re non-existent to his family, and just a rumored acquaintance amongst his friends. Unless he has a very good reason for doing so. He’s keeping your relationship secret and likely sees you as a fling, not a long-term love interest.
4. He Never Talks About The Future
If he avoids talking about your future together like the plague or bypasses conversations about making future plans. It’s a sign he doesn’t care and he has no intention of being with you for the long run.
[Read: The Worrying Signs He Is Not Ready For A Real Relationship With You]
Him talking about your future together and saying things like “I always want to be with you” is proof you’re firmly in his future plans. If he dodges questions about the future of your relationship or treats you like a stepping stone. He simply doesn’t care about you.
5. The Relationship Feels One-Sided
When he makes you feel like the relationship is one-sided and he never does anything to put your happiness over his own. It’s a solid indication he’s stopped caring and expects you to make all the effort.
If he always makes you pay the bill, never asks you how you’re doing, and seems disinterested with the goings-on in your life. The relationship has stopped being equal and it’s beginning to be all about him.
6. He Only Wants Sex
If a guy prioritizes sex and being intimate with you over everything else in a relationship, including your feelings. Then it’s a sure-fire sign he sees you as a booty call and not an actual love interest.
Having a healthy sex life in a relationship matters. But it’s a little different if it’s the only thing a guy seems to care about.
If he makes no effort to build a connection with you and avoids opening up or learning more about you. It’s a warning sign he only wants you for sex and nothing more than that.
Why You Should Fix Things
Why should you try to fix your relationship when you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t care anymore?
When you feel like he doesn’t care anymore. You should aim to find a solution if it’s possible. If he’s willing to make a change and he understands how he’s treating you is making you feel. It’s possible that you can repair the relationship with him if you work on things together.
There are many reasons you should try to talk to him and solve these problems. Here are a few important reasons why you should try to fix things with him.
1. The Situation With Him Seems Fixable
If he’s willing to make changes and he understands that he needs to care for you more. It’s fixable and you just need to talk and work through this together.
[Read: How To Talk To Your Boyfriend When You’re Upset With Him]
When the situation seems like it’s fixable, or it feels like a road bump in your relationship. It is definitely worth considering to try and fix things before making a decision you might regret later.
2. He’s Proved He Can Change
You need solid proof that he’s willing to make a change and is working with you, not against you to solve the problems you’re having in the relationship.
If he’s started to listen to your concerns about him caring less, and he backs this up with his actions. It’s a sign he’s starting to care again and that you can begin to fix things with one another.
3. It’s Not His Fault
When you realize it’s not his fault and that you may have had a small part to play towards him appearing to care a lot less. It’s important to take note, and consider anything you might have done to affect his mood or his ability to show you care and affection.
Similar to other events happening in his life. You may just need to talk to him and get him to open up. Give him time without assigning the blame before you know all the facts.
He may have limited control over how he feels right now, or be heavily influenced by other things going on in his life.
4. He Makes Apologies
He says sorry and apologizes for making you feel like he doesn’t care. When he’s prepared to apologize and acknowledge how the things he is doing are making you feel. It’s a sign that there is still hope and you are able to fix things.
However, this is true only when the apologies are backed up by real change made by him. If he says sorry but is still unwilling to stop you from feeling this way. It’s a toxic sign shown by him that you need to avoid.
5. He Understands
When he listens to what you have to say and understands your point of view. It’s a solid sign that the issues you are facing can be resolved.
If he can understand how he is doing things that make you believe he doesn’t care. It’s a step in the right direction and changes can be made to repair the relationship with one another.
6. You Can See A Future With Him
If you can genuinely see a future with him still firmly in the picture and he’s the only guy you want to be with. Then the relationship is worth fighting for despite him not seeming to care at this very moment.
If a small change made by him is all it will take to get your relationship back on track. Then work with him, and do things to ensure this change can happen.
However, don’t hold on to hope if he is still unwilling to make a change or actively works against you. When he’s decided to check out of the relationship. It’s a lost cause, and you need to move on.
Why You Should Break Up
Should you break up with your boyfriend who doesn’t seem to care anymore?
If you feel like your boyfriend doesn’t care anymore and he doesn’t respect you. You should break up. This is especially true if he’s unwilling to make changes and makes you feel emotionally drained. You need to focus on yourself first. You deserve happiness.
Don’t be with a guy who refuses to consider making a change for the sake of your happiness. He should always care for you if he doesn’t want you to leave him.
Here are the reasons you should put yourself first and leave a guy who makes you feel like he doesn’t care anymore.
1. He Doesn’t Respect You
Don’t be with a guy that does not respect you. If he frequently shows you a lack of respect and you feel like he doesn’t genuinely care about your happiness. It’s time to make a real change.
Don’t allow him to talk down to you or control your mood with his bad behavior. Live your life the way you want to live it and find someone that will value your happiness and respect you.
2. You Feel Emotionally Drained
When he feels emotionally draining to be around and he constantly does things to make the situation worse. It’s time to stop allowing him to affect your mood and start giving breaking up with him some strong consideration.
Your own happiness should always come first. Don’t allow him to make you feel constantly miserable or mentally drained waiting for him to make a change.
3. He Makes You Feel Guilty
If he tries to make you feel guilty for believing he doesn’t care anymore. Or he blames you for his own bad habits and behaviors. It’s a sign he doesn’t view the relationship as a partnership. You’re not a team, it’s a one-sided relationship.
When he’s more than happy to assign all the blame on you and take no accountability for his own actions. It’s time for you to re-evaluate the relationship and reflect on whether or not staying with him is for the best.
4. The More You Try, The Worse It Gets
You hold onto him and try to repair the relationship by expressing your feelings. But it only makes things between you much worse. It’s time to reconsider your approach, and stop playing his games.
[Read: How To Tell Your Boyfriend That Something Is Bothering You]
When he’s mentally or emotionally checked out of the relationship. You will likely find yourself as the only one willing to put the work in to repair the relationship.
By this point, it’s a lost cause as he will stop you at every turn. He likely has no intention of helping you or being with you for the long run. It’s time to move on.
5. He’s Unwilling To Change
Is he unwilling to make a change for the sake of the relationship? When a guy is not prepared to make a change even though he knows how you feel. It’s the sign of a toxic relationship, and it could get worse the longer it carries on.
If he doesn’t listen, ignores you, or puts no value in your feelings. It’s time to end things with him and find someone who will.
6. You Deserve Happiness
You deserve happiness first and foremost. When you genuinely don’t feel happy being part of a relationship with him or feel like you should be treated much better. This is your heart telling you it’s time to move on from him.
Your own happiness should be your number #1 priority. Along with the happiness of a guy who is willing to be a team player as part of a loving, healthy relationship.
Avoid one-sided relationships, mind games, and find a boyfriend who can give you the care and love you deserve.
FAQs
How Can I Get My Boyfriend To Care Again?
To get your boyfriend to care again you need to learn what he wants and stop chasing him. Instead, give him the opportunity to chase you again and do things that will make him think of you when you’re not around.
Make him miss you again, and do things that show you’re fully capable of being independent and someone he should willing to fight for.
How Do You Test Him To See If He Cares?
When you want to test him to see if he cares. You need to be on the lookout for habits and characteristics in your relationship that show he genuinely cares for you.
He will…
- Always try to be honest with you
- Be a good listener
- Value your opinion
- Share his hobbies and interests with you
- Remember the little things about you
- Make you the priority
- Talk about the future with you
- Introduce you to his friends and family
- Keep good communication
- Be a team player
- Want to see your happiness
These are all a solid indication that he cares about you in the relationship. When a guy displays these traits and characteristics to you. It’s a surefire sign he cares.
Why Doesn’t He Care If I Leave Him?
When a guy says he doesn’t care if you leave him. It’s a sign that he might have mentally checked out of the relationship with you. He might still care for you and love you, but he’s already come to terms with the possibility of the relationship being over in his mind.
It can also be an indication of him getting attention from elsewhere. Guy’s who actively treat relationships like stepping stones will often rarely be phased by the prospect of a relationship breaking down.
On the other hand, it’s a little different if he says that he doesn’t care as a response to you threatening to leave him. In this case, you have instigated the possibility of a breakup. At this point, it’s a common response many guys will give to call your bluff or appear confident.
How Do You Stop Yourself Feeling Invisible To Your Boyfriend?
To stop yourself from feeling invisible to your boyfriend you need to focus on your own independence. Put yourself first. When your boyfriend is showing the signs of not being open, accessible, or engaged in the relationship or with you. It’s time to stop forcing things, and let him come to you.
Independence is a key trait many guys will look for in a girlfriend. So if you turn the volume down on your love, or your efforts trying to pursue him. He’s bound to take notice of your newfound independence from him.
When he’s used to you being the one who chases him. He can get far too comfortable and stop trying to win your affections and love. Make him try harder by making a big change and give him something he’ll realize he’s missing out on.