When you are in a relationship with someone it’s sometimes easy to become blindsided by the idea that they must love you, especially if you have invested those strong feelings for them.
It’s important to know that just because you are together, this does not mean those feelings of love can be automatically returned back to you by your boyfriend.
Sometimes there will be people that walk into your life and no matter how much you want them to stick around, only stay temporarily. There are even guys and girls that get into relationships knowing this will always be the end outcome.
Nobody is perfect. We all do things at times that might seem convenient or the right thing to do given the circumstances or options available to us. Sadly, however, if this happens to be you staying in a relationship with a guy that ultimately does not love you, this will only ever end in heartbreak.
You will leave a relationship you thought was full of love feeling disappointed or maybe even shortchanged at the prospect of what you thought it could have been.
This is why is so crucial to figure out the red flags or signs that show your boyfriend isn’t really in love with you, and could likely view the relationship as a short-term fling.
It’s time to get to the bottom of things and weed out the time-wasters or guys just looking for a good time with you. You want a boyfriend that genuinely loves you and not some guy that’s looking for the next best thing.
Signs Your Boyfriend Isn’t in Love with You
1. He Avoids Showing You Any Affection, Especially In Public.
If he’s rarely showing you any affection when you are alone together and avoids this at all costs when you are both out in public or hanging out with friends. This is already a pretty bad sign that something is seriously off.
He might see you as some kind of accessory in his life, that is good to have around but he’s not willing to invest in you emotionally.
Guys that lock affection away from you, are usually also good at locking you away and keeping you out of the loop on other things. He might also hide affection from you because he simply has none to give.
2. He’s Always A Closed Book, And Never Opens Up About Himself.
It can take a while for some guys to open up to you. Maybe it’s because he feels vulnerable sharing his true thoughts or feelings, and he’s scared about what you might think.
If he’s always doing this though in the relationship and has been a closed book for a long time. It could be because he doesn’t think you’re worth the risk, or that it’s not worth it in the long-run opening up to you.
In his heart of hearts, he might not feel you are truly worth it and keeping you guessing or leading you on likely suits him better. Especially if he doesn’t genuinely love you.
3. He’s Uninterested In Learning More About You Or Having A Deep Conversation.
When he’s only willing to scratch the surface when it comes to learning new things about you or your life. There could be a few things going on here you need to take note of.
He might be scared to learn more about you as for him, this is when things get serious, or you become emotionally deep with one another. Maybe that’s not something he genuinely wants?
A boyfriend that does not ask questions, or get into deep conversations with you may only really be in it for your looks, or likewise, see you as some kind of accessory in his life.
Guys that truly and deeply love you will never be too afraid to dive deeper into your life. They will want to know everything about you, as this only gives them more reasons to be madly in love with you.
4. He Constantly Brings Up The Things He Thinks You’re Doing Wrong.
If all your boyfriend can do is bring up the things he thinks you’re doing wrong, and criticize you repeatedly. Then this is a severely bad sign of a relationship meltdown on the horizon.
He can only say negative things to you as this is where his head is at mentally for the relationship. Maybe he’s grown tired of the way things are or genuinely feels he’s always Mr. Right and you’re Mrs. Wrong.
Either way, it’s a bad sign your boyfriend is mentally checking out of the relationship. If there was an ounce of love there, it could likely be fading by the day as his behavior continues to follow this path.
5. He Acts Like He’s Far Too Busy For Your Relationship Most The Time.
The amount of time each week he’s willing to make sure is dedicated to your relationship together can be a good gauge of how much he truly loves you.
Guys that love someone will do everything in their power to make sure this is obvious by putting the time in. If he’s constantly too busy to make time for you, or maybe even struggles to reply to your texts at times.
It could be a telltale sign that he really doesn’t consider you to be that important in his life. Even if you confront him about it he might act like it’s “No big deal!” But having a boyfriend who finds it so easy to neglect to spend time with you is a surefire way to make you feel unloved.
6. He Low-Key Flirts With And Gives Attention To Other Girls.
If a guy genuinely loves you and only you, it should seem like a no-brainer that he would not be interested in flirting with other girls on the side.
You might have even caught him doing it over social media, or maybe he even does it when you’re out with friends and you call him out on it. If this is something that keeps happening, it’s a red flag that he sees you as someone he’s tagging along for the ride.
A guy that loves you with your best interests at heart would avoid doing this at all costs. He would never want to hurt your feelings or make you feel second best.
7. He Does Not Integrate You Into His Social Circle And Actively Hides It Away From You.
When you’ve been in a relationship with him for a short while, and he’s still actively hiding his social circles away from you. It’s possible he thinks it’s pointless to introduce you to his friends as he does not see this as a long-term thing.
Guys that deliberately hide their friends away from you, or don’t invite you to parties or social gatherings with their crowd are likely sending you subliminal messages. Maybe they don’t want their friends to know you, or perhaps don’t want you to cross-check some of the things he’s been telling you.
Any way you look at it, it’s a huge red flag. A boyfriend who loves you would be proud to have you as his girl around his friends and push you openly into his social circles.
8. He Lets You Handle All Of The Planning And Stress In The Relationship.
If your boyfriend is more than happy to let you plan everything for the relationship as well as make you handle all of the stresses and strains that come along with this. It’s a sure sign he’s not investing at all.
He likely views the relationship with you as some kind of tick-box exercise where as long as you are sorting things, he has something to do without all of the headaches that go into it.
Planning meals, date nights, trips away and hangouts with friends is a lot of work. A guy that loves you would share the burden here, and actively help you plan things to spare some of the emotional strain on you.
9. He Avoids Conversation About Having Future Plans With You.
He does not like talking about future plans with you, because you’re likely not part of his future plans. It’s a blunt way to look at it, but it’s likely true.
Guys that avoid your questions about making plans for the future together are likely throwing up a red flag you need to pay attention to.
If they avoid questions about things like moving in together, planning trips in a year or even just general questions like “Where do you see us in 6 months?”. It’s a sign he’s just taking it one day at a time and has no real vision or plans about being with you for the long term.
10. He Can’t Tell You That He Loves You In Return.
Probably the most obvious sign is when he straight up can’t tell you he loves you back.
If you feel this love for him, and your boyfriend fails at every hurdle to reciprocate this love or say he loves you. Then it’s likely that this really is the case, and he doesn’t love you.
[Read: The Telltale Signs Your Boyfriend Is Truly In Love With You]
Of course, it can take time for love in a relationship to manifest itself equally between both partners. Love is a super confusing thing.
But if he genuinely has these feelings for you, or you have got to a point in the relationship where he knows all too well that this is likely your expectation to help move things forward.
Then by now it’s either he loves you, or he does not.
