His real needs from you in the relationship might seem like a mystery, you might think its all about intimacy but it goes much deeper than that!
When you feel like your man is not truly telling you all the things he needs or desires from you in the relationship. It can sometimes feel like he’s a bit of an enigma even if you’ve been together for a while.
You try your best to get him to open up about his real needs, or the things he would like you to do. But it can be a real struggle, especially if he’s not comfortable asking you for some of these.
Quite often guys see their needs relating to emotional connection or intimacy as a weakness on their part. They might have a hidden expectation of getting these in the relationship but don’t speak up if their needs are not met to avoid looking like they want their ego stroked.
This is by no means your fault and is a true example of a man’s tendency to sometimes be a bit of a closed book or become someone who’s reluctant to talk about their genuine needs in an open setting.
Unlike popular belief or opinion, its not just about sex or intimacy. Sure, this can play a part but many times it goes much deeper. It heavily relates to trust, emotion, understanding, and clear signals from you to him.
Here are the things Men secretly want from you in a relationship.
1. The Thrill Of The Chase
One thing a lot of men love to experience while dating or early on in a relationship is the thrill of the chase. This where a guy takes real enjoyment or excitement from pursuing you and getting a positive response in return.
However, one mistake many women make is unconsciously or unknowingly blocking guys from enjoying the chase, or perhaps not letting him reveal he’s a great catch when he goes the extra mile to woo you.
Now, this is not about playing games with him. It’s about letting things flow more naturally and loosening your reigns of control over how the relationship in the early stages will pan out.
If you’re always the one planning the dates or initiating contact with him then take a step back and share the front seat with him. Let him make some of the first moves. You might even be surprised to learn how far he goes in pursuit of your affections.
Most importantly, be sure to respond to his efforts and compliment him for these. Guys who feel like their efforts to pursue you are not in vain will go the extra mile for you, just like you would for them.
2. Respect
We all love the feeling of being respected. It’s in our nature to feel accomplished or respected by those around us. However, men and women sometimes have two very different views on what respect in a relationship actually means.
Men often view respect from you as a form of love, affection, or saying things to him that are meaningful about the things he does, how he looks, or what he says to you. This all actively converts in his mind to respect shown from you to him.
If you talk to him about your stresses or problems, he might try to help you see a way through these. Sometimes you don’t need the help, you just need to vent. But telling him “I don’t need your help” will only serve to make him feel underappreciated and not respected especially if he’s trying his best to see a way through for you.
Accepting him being there to help you, or as someone to share your emotions with will go a long way towards him feeling truly respected in the relationship. Show him respect any way you can, but just remember there are subtle differences in the way male/female communication interprets respect.
3. Being Open To His Help
Similar to finding ways to show him respect in a relationship, you have to ensure you are open or considerate to any help he happens to offer you in the relationship.
Sure, you are without fail an independent, strong, and capable person who is fully able to take care of yourself. But knowing he’s there to support you with advice, ideas, or floods of love and support will go a long way to accepting him as a partner who only wants to be your problem solver.
He doesn’t see you as a damsel in distress, but instead someone he cares deeply about that he just wants to do anything he can to help. Don’t see this as a negative, because there are many guys out there who don’t even offer to help.
Allow him to feel needed and his offers of help to be valued by you. If you don’t it’s not uncommon for guys who are looking to help but seeing their help rejected to stop offering it. Value the people looking out for you.
4. Compliments and Affection
It’s a popular belief that most men will actively avoid asking girls to stroke their ego with compliments, or asking for affection as it’s thought to make them appear needy or constantly seeking reassurance.
However, there is actually nothing wrong with a little ego-stroking from you to him at times. If you feel like he’s actively hiding his desire for you to pay him compliments, or show him that little bit of extra affection. Then act on it and have fun with it!
We all need a confidence boost from time to time. So tell him what you think is great about the things he does, or how he looks, and how you value being in a relationship with him. Daily compliments or positive affectionate messages to him can go a long way!
5. Acceptance
Now when we’re talking about acceptance, we’re not talking about acceptance of him in your relationship together, but more along the lines of the things he does and his life. The bigger picture.
Accepting all the things he does in his life like his lifestyle, his job, his life goals, and dreams, and his thoughts and opinions can be seriously empowering for him.
Knowing you accept him for who he is and what he stands for can be a seriously powerful tonic for success when striving the to be the best person he can be.
Show him acceptance any way you can and be vocal about it. Let him know you’re really happy to be a part of his life and the things he is doing to be a better version of himself every day.
6. Your Trust
Trust plays a huge role and is the backbone of any strong relationship together. If your man feels like you don’t trust him, or the things he is doing. Then it’s not uncommon for him to also have a hard time trusting you in return.
It’s not always easy to fully trust someone especially if your life experiences have helped to mold how emotionally invested you become, especially in newer relationships.
However, if you truly feel like you trust him to the core and trust all the things he is doing then let him know. Telling someone you trust them fully and deeply has a profound impact on the level of trust they show you in return. Mutual trust is a powerful relationship tool that should not be underestimated.
7. His Own Space.
The fact is, Men seriously value their solitary time while in a relationship. There is a reason such things as ‘Man caves’ came into existence and it’s not because he wants to spend time away from you. Far from it.
It’s actually more about him finding his own space to process feelings, thoughts, and just unwind while doing his own thing. Men can either do this on their own, or they might want to go hang out with the guys and kickback.
It’s important that you value him needing space in the relationship, and also take this opportunity to find some of your own.
After all, you should not be joined at the hip. A relationship is not a merger of two people into one, its a journey full of love and experiences that two separate individuals share together.
8. Spontaneity
Keeping things fresh and spontaneous while in a relationship is always something you should strive for together. Being spontaneous or doing new and exciting things can have a great habit of forming a stronger bond and connection between you both.
That being said, guys will always have a difficult time asking girls to be more spontaneous. It’s not because he thinks things are dull or boring, it’s because they want to keep finding new things to be curious about with the real you.
If a guy does not know what your next move will be, what opinions you might have, what you might be prepared to try and not try. It will keep him on his toes and is a seriously attractive trait for girls to have.
He just wants to admire you, so don’t hide away the real you. Be spontaneous doing the things you love doing, and try new and exciting things together in the relationship to keep things fresh. Surprise him from time to time, you might be pleased with the result.
9. Making The First Move
Is your man always the first one to text you, call you, or initiate things when you start kissing or get intimate in the bedroom? Men have a big fear of rejection too, so try to take some of the burdens off him that he’s too afraid to ask for.
Women who know when and how to take control and make the first move can hold a seriously sexy trait. If you initiate on him by sending him cute messages, calling him to share affection or be the first to grab him for a kiss and take his hand to the bedroom. You’re seriously on the right path for fulfilling all his desires and needs from you.
It’s not always about being intimate though. It’s just about taking the initiative and showing him the things you truly want and being confident to see out your own decisions and desires.
10. Sexual Variety
It’s impossible not to talk about the hidden things men secretly want from you in a relationship without talking about sex.
It’s by no means the only thing they want, but it plays a huge part in building trust and reassurance that you really want him and only him. Going the extra mile and adding a little variety to your sex life together can have a powerful impact.
Buying sexy lingerie to wear for him, talking about new positions you want to try, or telling him about other new and exciting kinky desires you might have all play a role in adding to the sexual variety in a relationship.
If your man is too afraid to ask you about trying new things in the bedroom, then throw him a lifeline by being more spontaneous with your own desires and things you genuinely want to try.
11. Passion & Enthusiasm
If you show you have a passion and burning desire for all aspects of your relationship together it can be a seriously powerful signal to your man that your focus is all on him.
Many guys who feel like their relationship lacks passion inside and outside the bedroom will have a really hard time opening up about it. It falls under something he actively expects you to be showing him, especially if he feels his efforts are not being reciprocated.
If you feel like your man is seeking extra passion in the relationship from you, talk to him about it. Find out the ways he might want you to show a little more passion or enthusiasm in the things you are doing together.
Communication is the key, knowing what he truly expects from you, and what you expect from him can help you both feel reassured and build long-lasting trust in the relationship.
12. A Friend
Knowing that most men not only want someone to love but are also looking for a buddy and someone to hang out with is seriously important. When being a true friend to your man, this does not mean you have to do all the things his other guy friends do. Far from it.
However, being prepared to grow your friendship as well as your relationship with him will help ensure you cover more and more of the boxes needed to make a perfect couple. You need to accept him as he is, just like a true friend would do.
Reassure him you are friends as well as lovers by showing interest in the things he likes, hanging out together and generally experiencing all life has to offer as a couple, and as true friends also.