It will never matter how experienced you think you are with dating. First date nerves or jitters are the real deal. They can be pretty powerful once they creep up on you before going on a first date with someone new.
These kinds of high-pressure social interactions where you really need to make a good first impression can get you all anxious and rile you up! You will be panicking about the things you might say, how you might act, and especially about how you will look or what you’re gonna wear!
The simple fact is, all this nervous energy piling up on top of you can prove to be crippling when it comes to making a good first impression, or letting the conversation flow naturally with your date.
Knowing that you’re anxious and nervous before a first date is one thing. But learning to control it, now that’s a different matter altogether.
If you can control your mind, body, and mood before a first date. This can seriously help you feel a lot more confident within yourself. If you can master these tricks for feeling less anxious while getting ready and going on a first date. It will truly become a breeze, and the only overwhelming thoughts or feelings left will be pure excitement about seeing your date!
1. Keep Busy, You Have Time To Burn
There is probably nothing worse than having all day with nothing to do, and counting down the hours, minutes and seconds before your first date.
If you ever find yourself in this position of waiting nervously for hours to tick by and for the first date to arrive. Just know that this behavior is actually feeding the anxiety monster within you.
Find things to do to keep your hands and mind busy. You have plenty of time. Maybe Organize your wardrobe while finding outfits to wear, or go out with friends and put yourself in a social setting to get in-gear for first date conversations.
Anything you can do to keep your mind and body busy before the first date has surely got to be better than sitting around waiting for it. Don’t feed your anxiety with the waiting game!
2. Get Your Soothing Tunes Playlist Going
Music for many people has always been a pretty good stress reliever, it will help you escape those pre-dating nerves or jitters and just chill out a bit!
Put together a pre-dating playlist on Spotify with some soothing tunes, or songs that get you in the mood while you’re getting ready for your first date.
3. Chat With Your Date Just Beforehand
You might be panicking or showing signs of nerves because you’ve not spoken to your date since you arranged to meet up a few days back. Maybe you’re worrying about if they might not show? Or having the last-minute panic your plans are aligned.
Any way you look at it, talking to them will likely be the solution. (Optional depending on circumstances)
Many first daters actually highly recommend getting hold of your date just before by sending them a cheeky text message or phone call to ensure everything’s going to plan and letting them know you can’t wait to see them!
It doesn’t have to be a full-blown conversation either that comes later, it’s just you checking in with them to see if they are all OK and figuring out any last-minute changes, or time requirements from both of you!
It helps settle your nerves a bit as you know for a fact what is happening. For your date also, they are likely nervous as well, so it’s a bit of an icebreaker before first meeting them. It also shows you are considerate of any changes they might need, as after all they could be running late and panicking as well!
4. Get Your Body Moving
Never underestimate the true power of endorphins flying around your body to help combat nerves or anxiety. These happy hormones can have some serious benefits when it comes to feeling more confident on first dates.
Keeping active by going for a run, hitting the gym, or generally doing some exercise is a great way to channel all this nervous energy and drain it away.
Exercising on the day of your first date or maybe a few hours before is a great way to loosen up and feel more confident in yourself before going on a first date. Give it a go, you won’t be disappointed!
5. Take A Little Liquid Courage To Help You Loosen Up
When taking a little liquid courage before a first date. We’re not talking about you downing shots of fireball whiskey or going overboard, as you still need your wits about you!
However, drinking a tiny bit of alcohol in moderation can actually really help to loosen you up. Dutch courage is the real deal for those that know about it, and small amounts of alcohol can really have an effect on your confidence or how good you feel.
Just don’t go overboard in any way shape or form here. You should drink only a small amount to help loosen you up, and definitely not enough to affect your thinking or make your breath smell like it’s free cocktail night! 🤣
6. Make Yourself A Tiny Bite To Eat
Yes, we know this might seem a like a sneaky thing to do before a first date!
Especially if you and your date are planning to go out for a romantic meal for two. But the fact is, nobody wants to go on a first date with someone who’s stomach is making rumbling sounds through all the gaps in the early conversation!
Having a small snack or bite to eat is also a great way to keep your energy levels up, and eating things like a small amount of chocolate triggers the release of endorphins in the brain. Which have some seriously powerful mood-boosting properties along with the effects of foods that are believed to alter your serotonin levels.
So the solution would be, making yourself a tiny (Yes we mean tiny!) bite to eat an hour or two beforehand. Please note though, avoid any foods that have a strong smell or taste, just keep it simple to avoid that dreaded growling stomach nightmare while reaping the benefits food can have on your hormones and mood.
7. Focus On Your Breathing
If you can be mindful of your breathing and have a moment to relax by taking a deep breath. This can be a really effective way to calm or soothe yourself away from those first date jitters.
There is a good reason people who practice meditation or mindfulness talk about the effectiveness of controlling your breathing. Its because it can you inhale calm, and exhale the stresses and strains of the day.
You place yourself in that very moment and separate yourself from the thoughts or feelings that might be making you feel anxious or stressed out.
On first dates, it can also be a good tool to use while in conversation. Take a breath between replying to questions, or giving great answers about yourself. It will make you be a lot more considered and thoughtful in your responses.
8. Acknowledge And Overcome Your Pre-Dating Anxieties
If you actively notice yourself becoming anxious or nervous before a first date, then this is already half the battle won. Sometimes simply acknowledging it is happening and rationalizing it can help it go away, or become less severe.
You and only you hold the power over your anxieties or feelings of stress. If you can figure out the signs it’s going to happen, or ways that work best to relieve you of this pre-dating anxiety. Then use them as best you can to feel good in yourself, and more confident about what you are trying to do.
For some people, this comes naturally, and they have a knack for knowing just what to do in this kind of situation. For others, it can take a while but is very much a learned behavior that is not out of your grasp.
9. Get Ready And Leave Yourself Bags Of Time
Before a first date, if you are the kind of person that will panic whether or not they have enough time to get ready, or you just hate being late with a passion. Then ensure you leave yourself a good time-gap for getting yourself ready and looking your best.
When making arrangements with your date about where to meet and when. Try to consider all the things you will be doing on that day. Is there anything you can think of that might come out of the blue, or get in the way of you getting ready or getting to the arranged meeting place?
A lot of the anxiety or stress you might feel just before the first date with someone new is actually the last minute panic of turning up on time. Help yourself out by ensuring to plan correctly, and buy yourself enough time for other de-stressing activities also.
10. Arrange To Meet Somewhere You’re Familiar With
This is a really top strategy for overcoming those first date jitters. Meeting your date somewhere you know about and are familiar with is a great way to get the upper hand.
Here, you are basically cutting down the unknowns or uncertainty that revolve around a first date with someone. You likely know where to meet, where you might be sitting together, what the food or drink is like. Also “pretty important”, where the restrooms are likely to be!
You have complete home field advantage and it works. It’s the same anxiety-relieving method that interviewees use when getting a top corporate job. They will do a tour of the building and become familiar with the surroundings before their big interview. So the same can perfectly apply for first dates and dating.
11. Approach The First Date With A Casual Disposition
When you are approaching the first date, it’s important that you remember to not come on too strong. Holding some of your cards close to your chest and treating it a bit more casual can actually pay off in the long run.
Your date is first and foremost looking for great company & conversation. If you come on too strong or greet them like some whirlwind of romance and chat-up lines one after the other, then it’s likely to be shortlived and a bit of a turn-off.
Just keep it casual and fully relaxed. Try to make your date feel fully at ease and that you are being your true self. As after all, it will be the real you that they potentially fall in love with or want to continue dating.
12. Remember That Your Date Is Nervous As Well
It’s so easy to forget that while you may be a ball of nerves and stress. Your date is likely to feel exactly the same as you. It takes two to tango as they say, and nerves or anxiety about dating can catch up with us all.
Knowing that you can both struggle with the same nervous energy around dating, or both have those last-minute panics is actually a pretty big relief. We are all human after all, and struggle to control our emotions or feelings at the best of times.
Talking about how nervous you are with your date can also be pretty endearing. Especially if they felt exactly the same way, it can be a good conversation opener or icebreaker and shows you put a lot of thought and mental energy into preparing for the date.
13. Manage Your Expectations Of The Date Effectively.
We will all have our own expectations for what might happen during and after the first date with someone new. However, no matter what these are we need to effectively manage them and not get too carried away.
Sure, you can be excited about the prospect of finding a future partner or potential soulmate. But you should learn to just take things as they come, and definitely one step at a time.
If your date has differing expectations to you, and you come on too strongly. This can be seen as being unreasonable or something your date is not ready or even looking for right now.
Use your judgment. Don’t get riled up about what might be, but what is. If the date goes really well, then just continue to gradually make plans or arrangements with this person. Get to know more and more about each other and eventually who knows, courtship and a future life partner could be on the cards.