When you begin to feel like your boyfriend isn’t giving you enough attention in the relationship. It’s always going to be hard to find the right way to tell him without sounding needy and trying to force the issue.
You want things to change, but you also want him to be proactive and realize what is happening without you needing to say anything.
While it’s always going to be best to speak openly to your boyfriend about your desire to receive more attention from him. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words and you have to take matters into your own hands to get what you want.
There are many ways to tell your boyfriend you need more attention without saying anything. But you first have to address why he’s giving you less attention than he did before.
Perhaps he’s just become less affectionate or attentive in recent times, or maybe you’ve started to move out of the honeymoon period in your relationship and grown too comfortable with one another.
Any way you look at it, you can still get the attention you crave from your boyfriend if you work on it the right way. Just remember that the relationship is a two-way street and you need to work on this together.
How To Tell Your Boyfriend You Need More Attention?
So what’s the best way to change things and tell your boyfriend you want more attention in the relationship?
If you’re looking for more attention and affection from your boyfriend. The best way to achieve this is by being honest with your words and using your actions to speak for you.
He needs to know you crave his attention. However, you have to show him that the attention being given in the relationship is not one-sided.
Here are some of the ways to tell your boyfriend you need more attention.
1. Lead By Example
If you want your boyfriend to give you more attention in the relationship, you need to lead by example. You need to show him precisely what you want and be the one to make the first move.
When you’re looking for extra attention and affection from him. Try not to force it. It’s all about knowing exactly what you are looking for and taking small steps to get there.
You need to find a middle ground with your boyfriend. If you want to hold hands, be cuddled, or build intimacy in the relationship. It’s far easier to get this kind of attention or affection by being the one who initiates.
Actions often speak louder than words and making the first move will give him good examples to follow when he recognizes what you need. He will also realize what you are looking for and better understand the kind of attention he is comfortable giving and receiving.
2. Open Up To Your Boyfriend
Communication is always going to be the key to unlocking changes in any relationship. While you can’t expect to fix everything immediately just by talking. It’s important that you speak up, and open up to your boyfriend.
You need to talk to him about your feelings and what you truly need. If it’s more attention you are looking for. Be clear with him about what you want and ensure it’s something he’s comfortable with.
Dropping hints or clues in conversation can sometimes work, but it’s far better to be upfront and honest about the level of attention or affection you desire from him.
[Read: How To Let Your Boyfriend Know That Something Is Bothering You]
Don’t make your boyfriend do all the guesswork by not saying anything. Pick the perfect moment to open up to him and also hear about the kind of attention he likes too.
3. Start Flirting More
If you want to tell your boyfriend you need more attention without saying too much. Flirting with him should be high up on the list of things you try to do more often.
Starting to flirt more in a relationship is not just about trying to say cute or meaningful things to each other. It’s about bonding with him in a way that increases your affection for one another.
You can:
- Be playful and have fun with him
- Crack jokes and laugh together
- Use your body language to send him signals
- Lean into him and cuddle
- Smile and use your eyes to speak for you
The main goal when you start to flirt more is to bond and build increased affection for each other. He needs to know all this effort is just for him and that you’re looking for extra attention by dropping him hints for his eyes only.
4. Ask Him For Help
A great way to let your boyfriend know you need more attention is by asking him for help. When you ask him for help it’s your way of saying you not only value his time, but you also value his company and want him to be with you at that moment.
You can ask him for help with many things, and they are all a guaranteed way to ensure that all his attention is firmly fixed on you and helping you.
Whether you actually need the help or not. Asking him to accompany you whilst shopping or getting him to assist you when cooking a lovely meal is a great way to spend some valuable time together.
Your goal is to have fun with him and get the attention you want by being together. Sure, you might actually need genuine help doing some things. But use these moments as a good excuse for additional bonding in the relationship.
5. Create A Relationship Routine
Creating a relationship routine is yet another proven method to gain extra attention from your boyfriend.
When you are starting a relationship routine with your boyfriend, it’s about ensuring that you start making a habit of sharing experiences together that guarantee extra attention and affection.
You can start by making small changes. Do things together each week that have a big impact on your relationship. You can also start a couple’s tradition or make a “love routine” to take things to the next level.
You can try to do things like:
- Make every Friday night date night
- Have days each week you cook for one another
- Explore somewhere new together
- Have a movie night
- Begin a shared hobby
- Celebrate milestones in your relationship
There are many things you can do to start a relationship routine, and many of them will be effective when it comes to gaining extra attention from your boyfriend.
6. Give Him Time
If your boyfriend is giving you less attention than you are used to or has a hard time expressing his love. He might just need to be given some time to get back to his usual self and learn exactly what kind of attention you need.
This is very true if your boyfriend is an introvert or he has a different approach to expressing his real feelings. Everyone gives attention and shows love in different ways. So giving him some extra time may be all he really needs.
7. Compliment His Efforts
When your boyfriend does give you the attention you need. Be sure to compliment him when he makes a special effort just for you.
If your boyfriend surprises you flowers or comforts you with a warm hug and a smile. Let him know how happy it makes you feel and that you are thankful for this kind of attention from him.
One of the many reasons a guy can stop giving you attention in a relationship is when they feel underappreciated for making the effort. If you don’t acknowledge his efforts, or you make him feel like the attention being given is one-sided. He might decide to stop.
Let him know you value the attention you are receiving, and that everything he is trying to do is worthwhile and is exactly what you need.
8. Arrange A Date Night
Telling your boyfriend you want to arrange a date night is a great way to guarantee some valuable time together. It’s a good opportunity to focus only on each other and put all of life’s distractions to one side.
Date nights are not only limited to a romantic dinner for two. There are countless ideas you can try for couple’s date nights. Some can be super romantic, while others are more focused on bonding and building a connection in your relationship.
Maybe you can experience the restaurant you’ve always wanted to visit together, adventure on a hike, get playful at the arcade, go bowling, or sign up for a trivia quiz as a couple. The possibilities are endless.
The main goal for date night regardless of the expense is to spend some quality time with your boyfriend and arrange something special to look forward to.
Frugal date nights and things you can do repeatedly each week with your boyfriend at minimal cost are always ideal. As you can easily work them into your weekly relationship routine and make them a traditional occasion you share together as a couple.
9. Give Him Extra Attention
Giving your boyfriend more attention is a simple way to try and increase the level of affection you receive in the relationship. It’s a two-way street after all, and you should be prepared to give him as much attention as you want to receive in return.
By increasing the level of affection you give him. You will help him to re-learn and acknowledge the kind of attention you are looking for.
Providing your boyfriend with more attention may also inspire him to make changes in the relationship and help him to re-discover exactly what you need.
This is especially true if you feel like he’s starting to give you less affection and love. Or when he might feel that the attention being given is a little one-sided.
He needs to know how much you care for him. So giving him extra attention and making small changes can have a big impact when it comes to how much attention is given and received in the relationship.
10. Send Him Heartfelt Messages
Sending him a heartfelt message is a proven way to get his attention. If you are not always together and do a lot of your talking over the phone. By sending your boyfriend a meaningful message you can invoke serious feelings of affection for one another.
[Read: Cute Things To Say To Your Boyfriend]
It gives you the opportunity to tell him exactly how you feel and share your real feelings for him. If your intentions are to get more attention from your boyfriend then a heartfelt and genuine message is the surefire way to achieve this.
11. Make Seeing Him A Big Deal
Make seeing your boyfriend and spending quality time together a big deal!
When you let your boyfriend know that you missed him, or you’ve been longing to spend some time in his company. It’s very easy for these real feelings shown by you to translate into real attention and affection given by your boyfriend.
If he can see that you believe spending time with him is a seriously big deal. He might start to realize that giving you more attention is what you really want in the relationship.
You will help him feel both loved and missed when he’s not around. Also, that spending time in his arms means the world to you, and that he’s the special guy you always want to be with.
12. Understand Your Boyfriend
When you want to tell your boyfriend you need more attention in the relationship. You need to recognize that everyone is different and that your boyfriend may have his own approach to giving you attention in the relationship.
Understand how your boyfriend gives attention and also discover how he tries to show you love and affection without you realizing it.
Your boyfriend may have a very different idea of what giving attention really means in the relationship.
[Read: Things Men Secretly Want From You In A Relationship]
He may believe that surprising you with gifts or cooking you a delicious home-cooked meal is all you need to discover his love for you. When in reality you really want physical touch, cuddles, and loving words from him instead.
Pay attention to how your boyfriend tries to show you love, and take mental notes on the things you think are missing from your perspective.
Use what you have found to open up to him, and clearly describe the kind of attention you really want to see from him in the relationship.
How To Ask Him For More Attention Without Sounding Needy?
To ask him for more attention without sounding needy. You need to pick the perfect moment to tell him and never force it. Know the kind of attention you want, and communicate your needs clearly and effectively.
Give him time, and don’t hold unreasonable expectations over the relationship which can make him believe your needs are one-sided.
Learn when to be subtle, and how you should approach him with your needs based on how he gives attention or affection in the relationship.
Try not to give ultimatums and place time restrictions on when or how you think he should show you affection. This will only ever make him believe you are needy, and that you are being unreasonable by demanding his affections in this way.
Here are the steps to ask him for more attention without sounding needy.
1. Never Force It
Never try to force him to give you more attention, especially if it’s something he’s not comfortable with. It’s fine to ask him directly for more attention. However, you need to be considerate with your words and what you are asking for from him.
If you keep asking after he says “no” or you try to make him feel guilty for not giving the attention you want. This will only ever have a bad effect on your relationship and make him believe you are demanding or unreasonable.
2. Learn When To Be Subtle
Learning when to be subtle if you want more attention from him is also something you should consider. You are not hiding your real feelings, but instead picking the best way to approach him with your needs.
If you can learn to tell him what you need with your eyes or smile at him in a way that just makes him want to cuddle you. Being subtle and saying less can sometimes have more impact than words on their own.
3. Pick The Perfect Moment
Picking the perfect moment to ask him for more attention is crucial. If he’s having a bad day or seems a little distant. It’s probably not the best time to start asking him to give you more attention.
[Read: How To Talk To Your Boyfriend When You Are Upset With Him]
He might be tied up with other things in his mind, or have things going on in his life he needs time to unwind from. You need to be considerate of his current mood and pick a time to talk or ask him that is right for you both.
4. Know The Kind Of Attention You Need
Knowing the kind of attention you need from him is essential. When you don’t know what kind of attention you want him to give you. It’s always going to be difficult to ask him to make changes without a clear end goal in mind.
You need to be clear with your intentions and tell him exactly what you need in the relationship. Re-evaluate the kind of attention you think you are missing from him, and recognize precisely how to make this clear when talking together.
5. Communicate Your Needs
Being able to communicate your needs effectively is the foundation of any healthy relationship. To avoid appearing needy, you need to be clear about what it is you need from him as a partner.
If you want to hold hands, cuddle more, or be more intimate with one another. You need to tell him in a way he understands to help ensure the message is received clearly.
Have confidence in yourself to know what you need and communicate this to him. After all, you will only get what you want and make changes in the relationship by asking for this to happen.
6. Don’t Hold Unreasonable Expectations
When you hold unreasonable expectations over the relationship and expect him to change overnight. This is a sure-fire way for him to think of you as acting needy in the relationship.
You have to be realistic when considering what your expectations of him are. Don’t force him to make changes or blame him for not giving you attention.
Instead, focus on communicating your needs. Allow him some time to consider the changes you would like to see made in the relationship.
When you put your expectations to one side and focus on keeping up good communication. It’s much more likely that you would see him make small changes that will have a significant impact on your relationship together.
Tips For Getting More Attention From Your Boyfriend
When you want to receive more attention from your boyfriend. There are many things you can do to get the attention you really need.
Sometimes your words will have a powerful influence over receiving more affection in the relationship. Other times your actions can have the biggest impact and keep him wanting more.
Using both approaches for gaining more attention is an art form you will need to master. But it’s also something he will pick up on and become more receptive to.
If you can use your words and actions simultaneously to cultivate more attention from your boyfriend. It’s the guaranteed path to getting what you really need from him in the relationship.
Here are the tips for getting more attention from your boyfriend.
1. Smile At Him
Smiling at him is a simple but effective way of letting him know you need more attention. With a single smile, you can make him wonder and become curious about its true meaning.
Smiling at him is also a great way to connect and draw him closer. People are naturally drawn to those who seem happy, cheerful, and are playful at heart. So be that person for your boyfriend.
His curiosity and wondering why you are smiling at him will often translate into real attention. He will want to be close to you and enjoy seeing your smile.
2. Speak With Your Eyes
Speaking to your boyfriend with your eyes is another way to convey your true feelings and intentions. Just like flirting, you can say many things silently using only your eyes.
[Read: Signs Your Boyfriend Seriously Adores You]
You can glance at him seductively, or be suggestive about what it is you want. Over time this becomes easier, and your boyfriend will get used to knowing what these messages through your eyes genuinely mean.
3. Dress To Impress
It might sound cliche but dressing to impress your boyfriend is an excellent way to get more attention. Your aim is to surprise him whilst you look good and feel confident.
You want your boyfriend to see you in a new light and grab his attention with what you are wearing. You also want to feel good yourself and let this shine through when seeking his attentions.
You can wear anything you like such as new dresses, sexy lingerie, or even something from your wardrobe you’ve not worn for a while. As long as it gives him a surprise, and he thinks you look good. It’s guaranteed to get you more attention.
Always focus on wearing something that makes you feel great. There’s no reason to wear something you don’t feel comfortable in. You’re own comfort and happiness should always come first when dressing to impress him.
4. Be More Independent
When you start being more independent in your life and relationship. Your boyfriend is bound to take notice. Independence is a powerful trait to show him and is something that will often draw him closer.
He will see you can make your own fun, find new friends, and develop new interests and hobbies all on your own. This will make him want to be a part of things and is a sure-fire way to grab his attention.
[Read: 10 Easy Tips To Make Him Addicted To You]
If you can show him you are self-reliant and can rule your own life. This is an attractive trait that many guys look for in a long-term relationship.
5. Always Give Before You Take
Giving your boyfriend attention first is always important if you want to receive it in return.
If you can make the first move when giving him affection or be the one who initiates. You can quickly find a good balance between giving and receiving attention in your relationship with one another.
Don’t expect your boyfriend to give you attention if you never make the effort yourself. You need to be prepared to put yourself out there and give him the same attention as you want to receive.
6. Be Understanding
To get more attention from your boyfriend, you need to be understanding of his feelings and needs too. If he requires more time or does not feel comfortable giving you certain types of attention. Be accepting and allow him time to open up to you.
Similar to you, he might have his own thoughts and feelings about how attention should be given and received in the relationship.
Listen, and be understanding towards your boyfriend. Don’t force him to give you attention when he’s not willing or able to. Focus on communicating with him and listening to what his feelings really tell you.