So what does it mean if you don’t feel anything when you kiss someone?
You might be seriously attracted to them, in a relationship, or have been longing to kiss them for a while. But when it happens, you don’t feel anything. The kiss lacks any real spark and was not what you expected.
When you kiss someone you like. It’s easy to think that every time you kiss them it will feel like a fairy tale or resemble something similar to the kissing scenes of a romantic movie.
You want to feel the sparks flying every time you kiss, and know that there is some serious chemistry happening between you both.
In the lead-up to the kiss, you may have feelings of excitement or anticipation that the kiss is going to take place. But when the kiss arrives, you don’t feel anything and it falls severely short of your expectations.
While it’s natural to believe the first kiss or every kiss you share with them is bound to make you feeling something.
There can be many reasons why some people simply don’t feel anything when they are kissed by someone they thought they really liked.
Why Don’t I Feel Anything When I Kiss Someone?
When you kiss someone. Your ability to feel enjoyment and the thrill of being kissed by them relies on many different factors.
The situation and circumstances of the kiss can play a big role. Along with your feelings towards the person you are trying to kiss.
But why don’t I feel anything when I kiss someone?
The real meaning as to why you don’t feel anything when you kiss them can heavily relate to how you feel in that moment. Also, how you feel about the kiss and towards the person, you are sharing it with.
Here are some of the key reasons why when kissing someone you don’t feel anything.
1. You Feel No Chemistry
Something just doesn’t click for you about them, and you feel absolutely no chemistry between you both and something just doesn’t feel right.
When talking and having a conversation with them feels like a real struggle, and the kiss is even worse. It’s a good sign that you lack any real chemistry which can make kissing feel disappointing, or seem a little awkward and forced.
2. The Kiss Was Spontaneous
When the kiss was spontaneous, unexpected, and they simply kissed you out of the blue. It’s natural for you to believe the kiss was a little lackluster or lacking any real feeling.
If you were not prepared for the kiss to take place and it catches you off-guard. This gives you no real time to compose yourself and build up any kind of anticipation for the kiss happening.
This is why the first kiss with someone you really like can often make you feel different from what was expected. The first time kissing someone can often be spontaneous, unexpected, and rushed.
3. They’re A Crush And Nothing More
Whenever you have a crush on someone and you believe you really like them. It’s common for many people to realize when kissing that person that it’s just a crush and nothing more.
If you kiss them you might change your mind about them. Also, you might realize that it’s lust and desire you are feeling for that person. Not real feelings, a genuine attraction, or a connection.
4. You Aren’t Attracted To Them
Attraction and feeling attracted to someone is seriously important when it comes to feeling more when kissing.
The reason you don’t feel anything when kissing someone could be because you aren’t actually attracted to them.
You could be attracted to the idea of them, being in a relationship with them, or being intimate and feeling loved.
But when it comes to being attracted to their personality, how they look, or what they wear. They could still fall severely short of what you are looking for in a relationship and make you feel like they’re not compatible with you.
5. You Don’t Trust Them
Trust is a big factor when it comes to how and what you feel during kissing. Many people commonly believe the best feelings they ever received from kissing came from those they could truly trust.
If you find it hard to trust them, have suspicions about them cheating, or feel like they are keeping secrets from you. It can be hard to find enjoyment when kissing, especially if you have these thoughts in the back of your mind.
Kissing is a sign of affection and it’s always harder to give someone affection if you don’t know if you can genuinly trust them.
6. You Don’t Care For Them
When you feel a lack of care towards someone, and you aren’t really bothered by what they think or feel about you and the relationship. This can make receiving a kiss full of meaning or feelings from them a real struggle.
Kissing someone you don’t care for is bound to lose its spark and charm very quickly. You already don’t care for them, so why should you care to feel anything when you kiss?
To feel something more when you kiss, you should at the very least need to care a small amount about them or what they are feeling. You need to know they are enjoying being kissed, and wonder what this kiss is actually meaning to them.
7. You Feel Anxious
Being anxious or feeling a sense of anxiety before kissing someone is something that can make you feel much less when kissing.
If you feel like you’ve frozen in place whilst you are kissing, and your lips or body feels numb because you are too worried about what is happening. It’s almost guaranteed that anxiety and being worried can take most of the feelings and emotion away when you kiss.
You need to feel relaxed, composed, and focus on what you’re expecting to feel during the kiss. A good kiss should make you escape your thoughts and only focus on the other person.
8. You Feel Awkward
It’s natural to sometimes feel a little awkward when you are kissing someone, especially if it’s the first time you’ve kissed them.
However, awkward feelings and emotions about the kiss could be a sign you are not fully comfortable. Especially if it occurs unexpectedly, or in a strange situation.
When the kiss seems too rushed or makes you feel like it was bad. It’s bound to make you feel a little awkward and question why you are feeling this way.
The fact is, you don’t feel anything when you kiss them because you feel too awkward about it.
9. They’re A Bad Kisser
If the kiss was overwhelmingly bad, and you think that they might be a bad kisser. This could be the reason why you don’t feeling anything when you kiss.
When they are clumsy kissers and they act awkward or do strange things when you kiss them. It’s bound to make you focus less on how the kiss feels, and more on what they are doing at that moment.
While bad kissers do improve given enough time and experience, especially if it’s their first kiss. It’s still a roadblock you need to get past, especially when you feel the kiss could have been better.
10. They’re A Friend
When the person you are kissing also happens to be your friend. The situation and the circumstances can sometimes make it seriously confusing for you.
On one side, they’re a close friend you get along with. Then on the other side, they’re someone you have feelings for. They might be a crush, or perhaps something more.
[Read: Tell A Friend You Like Him Without Ruining Your Friendship]
However, It’s hard to kiss someone and be in the moment with them if you’re too worried about what it means for your friendship. And you’ll feel a lot less during the kiss if you’re worried about it damaging or disrupting your friendship.
11. The Kiss Lacks Tension And Excitement
Anticipation plays a big role when you want to feel more when you kiss. If you weren’t expecting the kiss to happen, and them kissing you catches you off-guard. Many of the prior feelings you would have felt beforehand would not be present.
A long build-up to the kiss happening that involves tension and excitement is bound to make you feel a lot more when you’re kissing someone.
When you have been longing to kiss someone or hold the expectation that it’s finally going to happen. The pleasure and excitement you get from kissing them will feel a lot more intense.
12. You Don’t Feel In The Mood
If you’re just not in the mood to kiss someone. Then kissing them when you have other things on your mind is never going to lead to enjoyable experience.
You could be stressed, frustrated, or worried about other things happening in your life. Which makes finding a kiss from them pleasurable or meaningful the furthest thing from your mind.
To feel more when you kiss someone. It’s important to be in the right mood or mindset. Your full focus should only be on the person you are kissing. Not on negative feelings and emotions that make kissing seem like a bad idea.
13. They’re Not The One
When you kiss someone and you begin to realize they’re not the one. It’s because you feel no sparks or chemistry.
You might be attracted to them and have feelings for them. But the kiss gives you no feelings because your heart is telling you they aren’t the right person for you.
It could be lust and desire, or the idea of being with them that is pulling you towards them. When in reality, a relationship with them is never going to happen because you’re just not compatible together.
What Does It Mean If You Don’t Feel Anything When You Kiss Someone?
When you don’t feel anything when you kiss someone. Such as your boyfriend, husband, girlfriend, or wife. What you feel will depend on the situation and circumstances of the kiss. Also, what your true feelings are towards this person.
The true meaning can be as simple as you not feeling in the mood to be kissed. Or the circumstances of the kiss not making you feel fully comfortable.
Feeling something when you kiss someone depends heavily on your feelings towards the person you are kissing. If you are attracted to them and there is a lot of suspense or tension before the kiss happening. You are likely to feel a lot more.
Anticipation has a habit of making people feel more when they kiss. If you are longing to kiss someone or thinking about it constantly. This entire ball of emotion and expectation is released when you finally do kiss them.
This is also why many people claim some of their most intense feelings felt when kissing someone happened during the honeymoon period of a relationship, or their first kiss whilst dating.
The excitement and thrill of finally kissing that person you like for the 1st to 30th time are bound to make you feel a lot more. As opposed to being in a long-term relationship with them where you are now fully comfortable and familiar with your kissing or intimacy habits.
Are You Supposed To Feel Something When You Kiss?
When you kiss someone, you are supposed to feel a spark and excitement over what is happening whilst you are kissing them. It can be described as feeling like electricity running through your body and can give you goosebumps or make your lips super sensitive to touch.
What you are supposed to feel when kissing someone can be heavily dependant on the circumstances or the person you are kissing. Especially if it’s the first time you’ve kissed someone you really like.
It’s commonly believed that kissing overall is supposed to feel good due to the type of physical contact involved between two people. Also, the anticipation or longing for the kiss to happen can make it feel even better.
Kissing Fact: When you kiss someone, hormones are released into the body such as dopamine "the happy hormone" and oxytocin commonly referred to as the "love hormone". They are both responsible for making you feel more when you kiss and making it more enjoyable.
While It is true that many people believe the best feelings they received from kissing were felt within the first few kisses of dating someone new, or during the honeymoon period of a relationship.
Kissing is still supposed to feel good, or make you feel something even when you’ve been in a relationship for a while and are familiar with the other person. However, how the kiss feels for you can evolve over time if you are in a long-term relationship.
At the start of a relationship or during the honeymoon period. When kissing, you might feel the sparks flying and desire to kiss more. Also, you might feel more excitement over what is happing when you kiss.
Then later on in a relationship with the same person, these feelings when kissing expand and develop more towards building intimacy, bonding, or growing a connection and comfortability between you both.
It depends a lot on how you feel about that person. Also, how you build up anticipation before being more intimate together.
How To Feel More When You Kiss Someone?
To feel more when you kiss someone. You should focus on the anticipation or build-up to the kiss with them. Longing for a kiss will make it feel better. Be in the moment with the person you are kissing, take things slow and gentle. Also, don’t be afraid to use your hands or touch to build intimacy.
Feeling more when you kiss is a fine balance between what is happening during the kiss and what you feel, and also what is happening in the lead-up to the kiss taking place.
You need to find a way to heighten your mood, build an expectation of the kiss, and focus on what your feelings about this person are telling you.
You are likely to feel much more when you kiss someone when…
- There is a big build-up to the kiss happening with them
- You both really want to kiss each other
- You’re in the right mood to be kissed
- You’re are attracted to them or feel the chemistry
- You trust and are attached to them emotionally
- You think they are the one
- You love them
Also, you’re likely to feel less whilst kissing someone when…
- You feel nervous or anxious
- Only one of you is fully happy to be kissed
- The mood or situation does not feel right
- The kiss was spontaneous or unexpected
- You’re not sure about your feelings
- You don’t trust them
- There is no chemistry between you
So feeling more when you kiss someone is about aligning your mood and feelings, the kiss, and the situation altogether to make it feel right.
How you feel about the person you are kissing matters as much as the kiss itself. It you’re not attracted to them or don’t feel a connection. Then you will often detach your feelings or emotions from the kiss, and it’s just a bit of fun.
What Is A Good Kiss Supposed To Feel Like?
When you kiss someone, a good kiss is supposed to make you feel like you’re fully focused on the person you are kissing. It will make you feel warm and fuzzy, or even as if you’re going weak at the knees. You’ll feel lost in the kiss and fully comfortable or at ease.
A good kiss will release “love chemicals” in your body which makes the experience of kissing someone far better. It can feel like a surge of adrenaline or electricity flowing through your body and make the kiss feel far more intense.
Experiencing a good kiss can also boost sexual arousal, especially if you are fully interested and attracted to the person you are kissing.
Receiving an amazing kiss is also believed to make the receiver feel euphoric and less stressed or concerned about the things going on around them.
Should Kissing Always Feel Pleasurable?
Kissing someone should always feel pleasurable and good. This is exactly why people kiss each other. To build chemistry, develop a connection, or because it feels enjoyable and good.
We kiss people because it’s an enjoyable activity to share together that feels good. It also helps us to express our feelings, attraction, or desires for the other person.
When kissing is not enjoyable for you, or you feel like it’s doing nothing for you. It’s a sign that the person you are kissing does not meet most of these criteria.
You don’t enjoy kissing them because you don’t hold any feelings, attraction, or desire for them.
Kissing is always most pleasurable or enjoyable when you are fully interested in the person you are kissing. Kissing them will make your heart skip and beat and help you reaffirm your feelings toward them.
Is It Normal To Not Enjoy Your First Kiss?
It’s completely normal to feel like you did not enjoy your first kiss. The first kiss you share with someone you like can have a habit of not meeting your expectations. Especially when neither person has kissed someone before. It’s something you enjoy more that gets better with time and practice.
It’s very common for many people not to enjoy their first time or first kiss. You can feel like it was rushed, awkward, clumsy, or did not make you feel the way you wish it would.
Many times, you won’t enjoy your first kiss because you feel anxious or put a lot of pressure on yourself to make the kiss enjoyable for them.
To enjoy your first kiss more. You should build up to it slowly, don’t rush, and feel fully comfortable or in the mood before kissing them.
Also, never be afraid to give kissing feedback! If you want to enjoy kissing them more or really want to kiss them again. Subtly suggest to them the ways you think they can kiss you to make you go weak at the knees.
Does A Bad First Kiss Ruin A Relationship?
No, a bad first kiss does not ruin a relationship. Unless it was overwhelmingly bad or it makes you change your mind about the person you are kissing. Typically, things improve after an awkwardly bad first kiss. Many relationships still grow and prosper despite having a bad first kiss.
While it’s true that a lackluster and bad first kiss can make you have some doubts, concerns, or worries about them or the relationship.
Typically, it takes a lot more than a poor first kiss to change your mind and feelings about someone, if you really do like them.
A bad first kiss is fully fixable by developing a familiarity with the person you are kissing and giving them enough time to know what you like.
By the 4th or 5th time kissing the same person. You should both feel a lot more comfortable and less awkward to kiss in a way that feels far more enjoyable for you both.
Do Guys Feel Anything When They Kiss Girls?
When a guy kisses a girl. He will usually feel a strong level of connection between himself and the girl, and it will feel good for him. Especially if he has feelings for the girl or has been chasing her affections for a while.
What he feels whilst kissing a girl will depend on what his intentions are, and also the circumstances that lead to him kissing the girl.
He can feel many things such as goosebumps, shivers, or even a desire to become more intimate with the girl. Especially if he feels a connection or has been longing to kiss her.
What a guy feels when kissing a girl depends on what his thoughts or feelings are towards the girl. He might have no interest in developing a relationship, but still, be fully willing or happy to kiss the girl.
Alternatively, the kiss might hold a lot of meaning for him and could be his way of developing a connection or showing his affections for the girl.
Can A Guy Kiss A Girl Without Feelings?
Yes, a guy can kiss a girl without having feelings or feeling anything emotionally for the girl. He may only be looking for physical intimacy and hold no real desire to develop feelings in his heart for the girl he is kissing.
This is even more true if the guy kissing the girl has no intentions of currently being in a relationship. He might be enjoying being single or being a bit of a player. It may take a lot more than a kiss for him to assign real feelings to the girl.
Do Girls Feel Anything When They Kiss Guys?
What a girl feels when kissing a guy depends on the context of the kiss. Also whether or not she’s attracted to the guy and has feelings for him. It’s believed girls feel more when they kiss someone they like or sense they are emotionally connected to them.
When a girl kisses a guy. They usually have stronger feelings when there is a certain level of chemistry, or they are emotionally attached or involved with the guy.
Due to “love hormones” flying through a girl’s body when she kisses a guy. She can feel warm, fuzzy, or get goosebumps. Her lips can also become super sensitive to touch which makes kissing far more enjoyable.
This is often why the first kiss between a girl and a guy can hold such importance for girls. Just like in the movies, many girls believe they need to receive strong feelings when kissing a guy they like for the first time.
While it does depend on the circumstances, this is why it’s so important for a girl to believe a guy they are interested in is a good kisser. As it’s a strong indicator for her that he is the one.
Can A Girl Kiss A Guy Without Feelings?
Yes, a girl can kiss a guy without assigning feelings and emotions to the kiss or the guy in question. It depends on the circumstances, and also how interested or attracted she feels towards the guy.
If she feels no chemistry and thinks the guy is not the one. Kissing him with no feelings or strings attached is just a bit of fun. Especially if he’s just a crush and not anything more.
[Read: Can a Guy Kiss a Girl without Feelings?]
It’s a way for her to give a guy affection or a signal of attraction without wanting to take things further with him emotionally.
Should Kissing Be A Turn On?
Whether or not kissing should be a turn on depends entirely on the circumstances and feelings of the people doing the kissing. Many people believe kissing can be a major turn-on, especially if you really like the other person and have a desire to become more intimate with them.
Kissing is a way to express your desires and signal your attraction to the other person without needing to say anything.
So it’s no surprise that kissing can be described as feeling like a major turn-on for many people.
When you kiss someone, you are showing them how you feel with your kiss, your touch, and your body language. You are also being suggestive and telling them what you want without using your words.
However, while kissing can make many people feel turned on under the right circumstances or situations. It’s commonly believed that kissing in general, is not always considered a turn on.
It’s an act two people share to show feelings, express love, or display attraction. It will heavily depend on how both people approach the kiss, and what their expectations or feelings really are.