When you are dating someone new and you are looking to solidify a relationship with this new person in your life that you really like. Texting them is always going to be one of your number one lines of communication between you and them.
While many people believe that ‘Silence is golden’ and that you should keep the texts and calls to a minimum to keep them wanting more.
Whilst you are dating is this really the case? Or is maintaining a good line of communication through text actually going to benefit your chances of building a strong relationship with them in the long run?
While it’s true that not everyone likes texting or may actually prefer to say what they mean in person or over a phone call to the person they are dating.
For most people texting is always going to be the most accessible or easy forms of communication you will find between you and the person you are dating.
Put simply, you can text them at every waking hour of the day if you choose to. As unlike a phone call, or arranging to meet them in person. You can both choose when you are ready to read or reply to texts and fit these around your usual daily lives.
However, the real question remains. How often or frequently should you actually text the person you are dating? And how much is just too much very early on in a new relationship?
How Often Should You Text Someone You Just Started Dating?
When you have just started dating someone new should you be looking to ensure you text them every couple of days, every day, or even every hour?
Not receiving a text from the person you just started dating within 48 hours can be a cause for concern. You should always look to send a text or reply at the very least within a 48 hour (2 days) time frame. Leaving it any longer falls into an ‘unspoken rule’ of dating and may lead the other person to believe you are ghosting or ignoring them.
If you don’t text them back within a 48hour window. This can frequently lead the person you are dating to believe it’s an indication that the relationship is not going to move forward.
When you are in a new relationship your main goal is to try to keep the communication going whilst you are away from them. You want to learn more about them, plan new things to do together and bond over common interests, or grow your overall relationship together.
So always try to keep the conversation flowing and ensure you take the time to text them or reply to their messages to you within the maximum timeframe of 48 hours (2 days).
Whilst it’s probably going to be rare that you don’t find the time to text them at least once per day. Ensuring you don’t come anywhere close to the ‘unspoken rule’ of 48 hours is going to benefit your relationship moving forward.
Should You Text Someone You’re Dating Everyday?
When you are dating someone it’s perfectly fine to text them every day providing it’s not done excessively. It can be fun and exciting to learn new things about someone you really like and maintain a good level of conversation. You just need to be sure it’s done in moderation and holds meaning for your relationship together.
The real issue when it comes to texting someone your dating every single day will come down to the sustainability and types of conversations you are actually having. Also your reasons for having them.
For some people, receiving texts from the person they are dating at every waking moment of the day can come off as a bit of a red flag. They might wonder why you have all this free time, why you seem to be bored, or how you are able to text so much and work at the same time?
So while texting them every day in and of itself is fine, it’s far more about the other person’s perception of your texting habits, and how they are reading into your reasoning or the things you are saying whilst you text them.
[Read: Dating Mistakes That You Should Stop Before You Start New Relationship]
As a rule of thumb, when you are texting someone you are dating you should ensure every text to them holds some meaning or purpose. Perhaps this could be to learn more about them, to tell them how you feel, or even have a practical purpose like arranging your next meeting in person.
Whatever it might be, just ensure that when you are texting them every day you question your motives or reasoning before hitting the send button.
Is this text going to mean something to them or be something they can genuinely reply to? Also, will it make them feel like the relationship with you is growing? Or are they going to view what you send to them as you simply being bored, looking for correspondence, or killing some time before you are busy next?
Text them every day with a purpose, and with a view to growing your relationship together while you are dating and see how they are doing.
If you genuinely don’t have much to say, or can’t think of anything to write to them. Hold off, and wait until you can make your next message to them meaningful or hold a purpose for your relationship.
Is Texting Everyday Too Clingy?
When you are dating someone does texting them everyday make you seem too clingy? How much texting is too much and should you be careful not to text them too frequently to avoid looking needy or clingy?
The simple answer is no. Texting them every day is not too clingy especially if you have built up a good habit of communicating with the person you are dating through text, or talk daily and catch up with one another.
Typically the only real risk of appearing clingy happens when the person you are texting is not used to this level of communication from you. They might also have their own hidden expectations from you in the relationship that do not match up with the current level of texting or messages you are sending to them.
If you miss them or miss seeing them. It’s completely natural to want to send them constant texts to find out what they are up to, or how they are doing.
However, everyone is different. When it comes to dating and texting, some people find things to seem or appear clingy that others might not. It’s all down to personal preference or how serious or relaxed both people want things to be whilst dating.
There is no golden rule to tell you how often you should text them to ensure you do not look or appear clingy.
You just need to use your judgment or better still, talk to the person you are dating about how much they like to hear from you and the times of day you should text each other the most.
It’s far better to have a mutual understanding of when to text, and how much is too much. Rather than bombarding them with texts, and wondering why they don’t reply.
How Do You Know If You’re Texting Too Much?
An obvious sign that you are texting too much is when the conversation feels one-sided and most of the messages are coming from you. When you’re sending text messages at a fast pace and your not getting a proportionate amount of replies from them. It’s a solid sign you could be texting too much.
When you are texting someone you are dating, you need to ensure that every message you send to them has a purpose or holds meaning. If you are just rambling or sending them every single thing that pops into your head. This could make it hard for them to reply, or keep up with the conversation.
You’re looking for them to match the same energy level as you in their replies, or also be looking to move the conversation forward. If they take a while to respond or lose their train of thought when replying. It could be yet another sign you need to slow down.
[Read: 12 Red Flags To Look Out For When You’re Starting To Date]
Another sign you’re texting them far too much is when you begin to struggle to think of new things to talk about.
You might have already covered off most of the things you want to ask them or things you want to talk about. But now you’re drawing a blank. This is yet another sign you should step back, take a break, and slow down the pace of your text messaging.
Yet again, it all comes down to a person’s personal preference while they are dating. Some people love fast-paced texting, especially with someone that holds the prospect for them of a loving, intimate relationship. While some people simply don’t and they prefer to do most of their talking in person.
Find a good middle ground with the person you are dating, and just ensure your text habits do not outpace or overwhelm their replies to you. Keep a good balance to ensure your texts are not one-sided.
Does Texting Count As Dating?
No, texting is not dating. It’s safe to assume that just because you are only texting a person you are not also dating this person if it’s only exclusive to text messaging.
Much like having a long-distance relationship with someone you have never met. It’s always going to be hard to justify to yourself and others that you are dating this person if you have never met them face-to-face.
If you have met them, but are only now texting them. This on its own does not constitute a relationship or hold the guarantee it’s not just flirting, or this other person is exclusive to only you.
You first need to mutually agree that you are dating, and have a view that you are going to meet up or make it official.
While some people do believe it’s possible to be dating someone over text messages alone or be part of a ‘text relationship’.
If all your communication is done primarily by text message. You are missing out on many of the key indicators that help ensure the relationship is moving forward and you are in fact dating this person.
[Read: The Worrying Signs You Are Being Catfished]
In an ideal situation, you should be looking to meet this person or make your views on dating each other official.
If you fail to do this or continue having a relationship exclusively over text. You are falling into many of the unknowns or grey areas that can make maintaining this kind of relationship very difficult.
How can you be sure of real attraction or real connection if most of the communication is only done through text messaging? You need a real connection with this person, or real face-face interaction to solidify your relationship and the belief that you are truly dating them.
Do Guys Like When Girls Text First?
While it may be commonly believed that guys should make the first move or be the ones to send a text to a girl first. This is not actually always the case.
Many guys do really love it when a girl texts them first. For them, when a girl is confident and makes the first move to get the conversation flowing with a guy. This can be a real turn-on for him, and it’s something they like to see especially whilst dating.
Sending a text to a guy first also has it’s benefits. It helps to show him that the conversation is not one-sided and offers some reassurance that you’re responsive to his advances, or are fully willing to text him first after a great date for example.
It also shows that…
- You’re confident and willing to make the first move.
- You want to get to know more about him and keep the conversation flowing.
- You’re happy to offer reassurance that attraction or interest is mutual.
- You are willing to offer him additional hints to get him to open up or keep things moving forward.
During dating, this is especially important if you don’t spend all of your time together and you feel the need to offer him reassurance that you’re still fully interested in him, and want to see him again.
For a guy, there is nothing worse than being left in the dark not knowing how a date has gone, or not knowing if the attraction or interest he is showing is shared or ready to be reciprocated.
So never be afraid to send a guy a text first and make the first move with him. He might love to see this confident side of you, as it shows you’re someone who can take control, is independent, and knows what they want in life.