Discovering that your ex-boyfriend hates you is always going to be a difficult situation to deal with. Even if you’re the one that broke up with him, it’s still going to be hard to hear that the person who once cared for or loved you now hates you with a passion.
While it can be pretty hard to distinguish between hate, and your boyfriend going through heartbreak or mourning the loss of the relationship. It becomes a lot more obvious that they dislike you now if everything they say to you, or their actions make it perfectly clear.
It’s common during the breakdown of many relationships for both sides to feel angry, upset, or aggrieved about the relationship coming to an end. This is especially true if your boyfriend had no choice in the matter, and you were the one who ended the relationship.
But even still, it’s crazy to think that someone could switch their feelings on you. Despite the problems, you may have had in the relationship together. You might still want to remain friends with them, or at the very least keep in contact as they still mean something to you.
So what do you actually do if your ex-boyfriend makes it clear he hates or dislikes you now?
What Should I Do If My Ex-Boyfriend Hates Me?
The first thing to do when considering why your ex-boyfriend hates you now is to fully re-evaluate the situation. Really consider all of the things that had happened before, during, and after the break up that lead you to this point with your ex.
Many of the clues as to why your ex-boyfriend dislikes you now will be found within the small details of what you have said, or your actions towards him.
1. Consider How You Broke Up With Him
Did the way you broke up with your ex-boyfriend really catch him off guard? If you dumped your boyfriend out of the blue or gave him no indication you were going to do it. This could be a pretty huge contributing factor as to why your ex-boyfriend now feels so aggrieved with you.
If you broke up with him in a way that didn’t seem like you cared, or you didn’t give him a chance to make things right. He’s always going to resent you for that. This is especially true if you broke up with him over text, and ghosted any replies he gave you.
2. Consider The Reasons You Gave Him
When you broke up with him, did you give some valid reasons for doing so? Or provide reasons he would genuinely understand?
Why you broke up with him has as much to do with how he is acting now as anything else. If your reasons for breaking up with him did not seem genuine or were influenced by someone else. He would surely have noticed.
[Read: The Signs He Is Not Ready For A Real Relationship With You]
The reasons you give him should only ever come from the heart or how you genuinely feel. If you thought the relationship was not working, or you just didn’t see a future with him. Make this known, be honest, and never sugar coat it.
The true or real reasons you decided you decided to break up with him will always be hard to hear. But if you told the 100% truth and were completely open with him. You give him no excuse to feel left out of the loop, or to resent you for not being truthful with him.
3. Consider How You Acted Towards Him
Does he hate or dislike you because of the way you acted during the breakup with him? If you said mean things to him, or your body language and your actions made it seem like you detested him. These are not things that can be easily forgotten.
It’s completely natural during a breakup to not act anywhere near normal, or say things you don’t really mean. But you have to consider the fact that your ex-boyfriend is someone you once cared for deeply despite the problems.
While these feelings may have escaped you at that moment. Much of what you say or do will have an effect on how he views you now. It will also shape the way in which he will repair or recover from the breakup, and how long that may take.
4. Acknowledge Why He Says He Hates You
If your ex-boyfriend states clearly that he hates you, or dislikes you strongly because you broke up with him. While you can’t change this right now, it’s important to at least acknowledge this is happening or why.
Saying you hate someone you once cared for or loved is never normally something that can be said lightly. Behind those words are countless feelings and heartache regarding the relationship which once seemed to be flourishing.
While he may say he hates you to your face, or over text. Their is still a chance that something can be salvaged between you and your ex-boyfriend. It’s just going to take time and healing.
5. See Things From His Perspective
When re-evaluating your ex-boyfriend’s feelings, and the breakup as a whole. It’s seriously important to place yourself in your boyfriend’s shoes and see things from his perspective.
No matter the reasons you broke up if you want any chance of repairing a relationship or friendship with your ex. You need to see things from his point of view.
How did they view the breakup or how you acted? What made them feel hurt or upset? Why did they not understand your reasoning? These are all things or questions you need to be asking yourself to better understand the situation from his perspective.
6. Realize That He’s Still Hurting
It’s important to realize that if your ex-boyfriend hates you because you broke up with him, he’s still hurting inside or maybe trying to recover.
You may have moved on from him, or mentally checked out of the relationship. But he could still be very much in the thick of things emotionally.
Repairing or recovering from a relationship breakup is going to take time. However, there is no real way to gauge the timespan of how long it will take him to stop mourning over the lost relationship.
He might still love you or have strong feelings for you that he’s trying to fight away. So you can’t place a time limit on how long it will take him to rationalize what has happened, or even when he might begin to start talking to you again.
7. Search For The Clues You Made Him Jealous
Did you do anything before or after breaking up with your ex-boyfriend to make him feel jealous, or envious?
Jealously can be a powerful feeling that will often feed all your other negative emotions. If you did things that made your ex-boyfriend jealous, he might not hate you for this. But it will go towards him building up a strong desire to dislike or despise you due to the breakup. Especially if he’s still hurting.
Things you did that could have made him jealous include:
- Flirting with other guys
- New relationship
- A new job or career prospects
- Splashing the cash
- Holidays with friends (or guys that are not him!)
- Changing or bettering yourself
- New appearance, new looks
While most of these can’t be helped, more so if you’re no longer in a relationship with him and single to do what you like. It’s important to take note of anything you may have done which could have had an effect on him or currently makes him jealous without you realizing.
8. Search For The Clues He Thinks You Moved On Too Quickly
Did you get into a relationship with a new guy pretty quickly after breaking up? Or did your relationship with your ex-boyfriend breakdown due to a new man in your life?
If you ended the relationship with him because of the interest or affections you were receiving from another guy. This is only ever going to be something your ex-boyfriend resents you for.
In his mind, you had this planned all along. Any reasons you gave him will be null and void the moment he discovers you moved on from him too quickly.
While in reality it may not have been planned or actually worked out this way. To your ex-boyfriend, this is something to latch onto in his mind. If he can form a dislike for you because he feels you found someone new either whilst with him, or shortly after him.
It’s a great excuse for him to never actually come to terms with the genuine reasons you broke up with him really were in the first place. If he can’t accept that you’ve moved on, it’s unlikely that he would be willing to be friendly or talk with you unless he really wants you back.
9. Realize That Your Ex-Boyfriend Needs Space
After breaking up with him. It’s important to realize just how much time is needed for him to process what has happened and to heal. It won’t occur overnight.
He might be your ex-boyfriend now, but you still have to allow him space and time to think, especially if he’s asking for it.
While it can be hard to sit around, wondering what he thinks of you. Or if in fact he genuinely hates you now. The only way to know for sure is by giving him the space he needs.
He might come out the other side realizing his faults, or the things he could have done better. He might not, but only time will tell.
In any case, you both need to take this time to mull over what has happened and move on from the events of a difficult breakup. It might seem like the worse place in the world to be right now, but it gets better with time.
10. Consider Apologising To Him
Apologizing to him if you seriously think you could have done things differently during the breakup is never going to be an easy task.
If you really think that you have things to apologize for, like saying things you did not mean, or giving him reasons which were not truthful. It’s important that he knows this so that his viewpoint is not manipulated by things that are simply untrue.
When you wish you could have been nicer to him, or not done or said the things which you did. Considering reaching out to him with a heartfelt message, or write him a letter which explains exactly how you feel.
It’s better to be on the same page after a break up with your ex-boyfriend for there to be any hope of re-kindling the flame or building any kind of friendship moving forward.
If you don’t apologize for something you really think you should, you may live to regret it and always wonder what effect it might have had on his feelings towards you.
11. Be A Better Person
While it may be cliché to talk about being a better person, especially during or after a breakup which is always going to be hard.
There are still many things you can do to help you better yourself, and approach the aftermath of breaking up with him in a much healthier or more constructive way.
Some of the things you can do to be a better person include:
- Letting go of your anger
- Working to your strengths in every situation
- Supporting him and others around you
- Self-love and taking care of yourself
- Keeping the social connections alive with his friends, family
- Sleep, Eat and live right
Coming out of the other side of a breakup in one piece is never going to be easy. However, if you maintain a positive outlook or at the very least try not to allow the situation to rule you. Many of these habits will rub off on the people around you, including him.
12. Only Ever Have Good Intentions
No matter how he currently feels about you. If you broke up with him with good intentions in mind or believe that your reasons for ending the relationship with him were for the best.
You can hope that he one day comes to the same realization and actually begins to see things from your perspective and understands.
While reaching this point for him is going to take a lot of time, especially if he’s still recovering from the heartache of losing you.
If you can show him that you’re still fully willing to be friends, or stay in touch with him because you want to be a part of his life. This will go towards proving you only ever had good intentions for the breakup, and it was less about him but more about moving things forward in your own life.
Signs He Wants To Move On From You
If your ex-boyfriend says he hates you because you broke up with him, and it seems like he wants nothing to do with you moving forwards.
How do you know this is true? Or is this happening just because of the way he is feeling about the lost relationship?
While it can be hard to gauge exactly how much your ex-boyfriend is willing to move on from you. Some of the following signs you should look for can make it pretty obvious for you.
1. He’s Ignoring Or Ghosting You
He begins ghosting or ignoring your texts and calls. If he never picks up the phone, or frequently leaves your messages on ‘read’ it’s a sign he wants to move on from you.
2. He Avoids Bumping Into You
If he avoids going to places he knows you will be, or actively makes an effort to avoid you out in public. It’s your ex-boyfriend’s way of telling you he doesn’t want to be around you or perhaps doesn’t know how to approach a conversation with you about the breakup.
3. He Demands You Take Your Belongings Back
When he’s demanding that you take your things back, and even includes the gifts you got for him in the pile of belongings. It’s a solid sign that he’s looking to move on in his life and he doesn’t want anything that reminds him of you being around.
4. His Friends Also Avoid You
If his friends were once your friends, but now they suddenly avoid speaking to you. It could be an indication that he’s looking to move on from you.
He may have talked to his friends about the situation, or given them his views on the breakup. In any case, his friends avoiding you or being friendly no longer is a sign he believes it’s time to move on, and so do they!
5. He Unfollows Or Blocks You On Social Media
A common sign of an ex-boyfriend who hates you now is if he chooses to block or unfollow you from all his social media accounts.
He’s looking to block you out of his life, and while he can’t block you in the real world. Blocking or ignoring you on social media is the next best thing for him.
6. It’s Obvious He’s In A New Relationship
The most obvious sign of all that he’s looking to move on from you is when he gets into a new relationship with another girl.
He’s now over you and looking to establish and grow a new relationship with someone else. You are now firmly seen as his ex-girlfriend in his mind. His focus is now fully fixed on this new relationship.
Signs He’s Starting To Like You Again
You may have broken up with your ex-boyfriend and the relationship is now behind you both. But that doesn’t mean you don’t want to still be friends, or for him to still see you as a part of his life.
Are your efforts in vain, or are your attempts to reach out to him actually working? What proof can you have that he’s actually starting to like you again or accepts your apologies?
Here are some of the most common indications that your boyfriend hates you no longer, and he’s starting to like you again.
1. He’s Starting To Talk To You Again
If he wasn’t talking to you, then out of the blue he starts talking to you casually in person or sends you a text to see how you’re doing. It’s a sign he’s starting to come around.
He may have accepted your apology, or realised himself why the relationship may not have worked out for the best. In any case, he’s talking to you again. This is all that matters to you.
2. He Opens Up About His Feelings
After breaking up with him, if he can still come to you to share his feelings or open up about the things going on in his life. This is a sign that he still values your opinion, or what you think and feel about him or his life.
Guys who open up to their ex don’t always want to rekindle the relationship back to what it was. Sometimes they’ve just relied on you for so long for moral support, that they want this to continue whilst just being friends.
3. He Is Happy To Just Be Friends
If you have asked him to “Just be friends” and he’s happy to comply, or go along with things. Then it’s surely a sign he likes you enough to still want you as part of his life.
It’s not uncommon for ex-partners to remain friends way beyond the breakdown of a relationship together. If you manage things right and set boundaries. There is no reason it can’t also be a good friendship moving into the future.
4. He Doesn’t Avoid Or Ghost You
If he doesnt ignore you, ghost you, or actively avoid you. But still makes an effort to talk to you, see you out in public, or reply to your messages. It’s a solid sign that he still likes you.
While the relationship breakup may have taken its toll on him. If he can heal and recover to a point where he still see’s you both as firm friends. It’s a positive sign that you will still remain in touch with him.
5. You’ve Both Grown From The Relationship
You can learn a lot from being in a relationship, and even more once a relationship comes to an end.
If you and him both feel like you’ve grown from the relationship, or moved on in a healthy manner. Then there is no reason you can’t look back on it fondly together as friends.
6. He’s Still Willing To Be There For You
If you’re having a rough time or going through a hard patch in your life. When your ex-boyfriend show’s you that he’s still willing to support or be there for you. It really show’s he cares.
While he may not have fully recovered from losing you, if he can’t put aside the heartache and still be a friend or a shoulder to cry on. This must mean he still really likes you, and values to truly as a person.