When you and your boyfriend are beginning to take the relationship to the next level. Getting closer to his family will feel like a natural progression or milestone you need to achieve.
You want your boyfriend’s family to like you the first time you meet, and also for them to bond with you so you can start to view them as family.
His family’s approval will mean a lot to you. As it helps secure in your mind how a future will look for your relationship.
You also need your boyfriend to see you and his family can get along, and that his family is as accepting of you as he is.
Getting closer to his family may not always seem like an easy task. It’s often heavily dependant on first impressions and their overall approval of you or the relationship.
However, if you can do the right things to ensure you are fully ready to meet his family and take these next steps with your boyfriend. You will be taking another step closer to guaranteeing the future of your relationship.
How Can I Get Closer To My Boyfriends Family?
Trying to get your boyfriend’s family to like you may seem hard on the face of things. You want to make a good first impression, and get closer to them by bonding over things you share in common.
You’re looking for his family’s approval and acceptance, and for them to treat you like an extended part of the family.
The last thing you want is to know they disapprove of you or don’t like you. This can feel heartbreaking, or make you feel like the relationship with him is in jeopardy.
So how do you get closer to your boyfriend’s family? Also, what things can you do or say to make them like your more?
1. Ask Your Boyfriend About Them
Asking your boyfriend about his family beforehand is a great way to gather some additional information about them.
It will help to make the early conversations go much more smoothly and let you know about anything his family really doesn’t like.
You can ask your boyfriend what their hobbies or interests are. Also, you can discuss what his parents do for work and if they have any family traditions.
It’s a great way for you to show you’re already taking a keen interest in his family and you’ll feel closer to them.
2. Dress Nicely
When you meet his family, it pays to show them that you know how to dress appropriately for the occasion.
It’s all about showing them you made a special effort just to meet them. However, you should always aim to wear something firmly within your comfort zone.
Tip: Wear what makes you feel most comfortable. You might be standing up, or sitting down talking for long periods of time. Be preparped for every eventuallity.
A nice dress, comfortable shoes, and some cute jewelry should be more than enough to show you’ve made some effort.
Also, pay close attention to what your boyfriend thinks about what you’re wearing too. He can assist you in choosing the right attire for the occasion with his family.
3. Never Be Late
Arriving in a timely manner is a must-do when your planning to meet your boyfriend’s family. Try to never show up late at all costs, unless it really can’t be avoided.
Tip: Always plan ahead when you are meeting your boyfriend's family. Give yourself plenty of time beforehand to get ready, compose yourself, and arrive on time.
If you are late to arrive or keep your boyfriend and his family waiting. It may only serve to give them a bad first impression of you.
They might think you are tardy with your timekeeping, or inconsiderate of the time they’ve put aside just for you.
If in doubt, and you know you might be late to arrive when meeting your boyfriends family. Let them know, or notify your boyfriend to keep them in the loop.
4. Greet Them Warmly
Try to always greet his family with warmth. Either by offering them a hug or with a polite handshake and a smile.
Let his family know how excited you are to see them, and that you can’t wait to get to know them all better.
Tip: If you're feeling nervous, or a little shy and reserved around his family. Get your boyfriend to introduce his family members to you and help you break the ice.
When you meet your boyfriend’s family for the first time. The first few moments will always feel daunting.
However, if you can show you are confident and willing to greet them with kindness and warmth. They will have a reason to like you and feel closer to you right away!
5. Keep The Early Conversation Simple
Don’t bombard his family with questions. Try to keep the early conversation with them very simple.
Discuss things you’ve been up to with your boyfriend, and what you have planned in the future with him.
They want to learn all about you, so invite questions from his family. Let his family discover more things about you, and go into further detail with them later.
6. Be A Gracious Guest
If you are meeting boyfriend’s family at his parents home. It’s important to be a gracious guest and highly respectful of your surroundings.
His family is looking to see if you are as respectful to their home, as you are to their son.
So be prepared to use your “Please”& “Thank-you’s” and ask permission before wandering around their home.
Tip: If you need anything, just politely ask for it. Don't go poking around. It will likely cause uncomfortable or awkward situations.
You can ask your boyfriend and his parents to give you a tour of their family home. This will quickly allow you to get familiar with your surroundings, and more importantly locate the bathrooms!
7. Share Interesting Things About Yourself
To help you bond and get closer with your boyfriend’s family, you should share interesting things about yourself.
They want to hear about the things that make you interesting as a person and why you are such a good catch for your boyfriend.
Tell them about the things you’ve achieved in your life, or anything that you think they might be impressed with.
While you being with your boyfriend is likely more than enough for them, it helps if they can see you are a good fit for him.
8. Keep The Conversation Safe
Don’t walk over dangerous topics during the conversation with his family. Unless they are directly asking you about them, or can’t be escaped.
Talking on tender topics such as politics or religion can have a habit of making conversations escalate into something tense or awkward. Especially if you don’t share the same views.
Tip: Also, avoid talking about your sex life or intamacy. These are not safe topics of discussion when you first meet his family.
Always aim to keep the conversation with his family safe and simple. Discuss things like food, interests, or the local area. Anything that makes you feel closer together and finds common ground.
9. Be Polite Always
Whenever you are spending time with your boyfriend’s family. You should aim to always be polite to them, and your boyfriend.
Being polite always is a great way to make his family accept you, or feel closer to you. They will see you are considerate and well-mannered.
Avoid using bad language, showing anger or disgust, or arguing with your boyfriend in front of his family.
If you are not polite, you’re just giving his family more reasons to dislike you. Be polite and help them make the right judgment call.
10. Look For Common Interests
Look to make connections with your boyfriend’s family by finding common interests you can all enjoy.
If you share some of the same interests they are passionate about, it’s a great way to start conversations and make things go more smoothly.
It will also show his family you’re just like them, and it’s a great opportunity to plan future family events or start a new family tradition with them.
11. Communicate A Lot
Communicating with your boyfriend’s family members frequently is a great way to make them get closer to you. Either in person or by phone, text, and social media.
Tip: Keep his family updated about what you and your boyfriend get up to. Let them feel in the loop so you can have lots to talk about the next time you see them.
If you’re always willing to chat in your free time, or available to meet his family to catch up. They will begin to see you as a new member of the family and treat you like one of their own.
12. Offer To Help Them
Always offer to help his family members in any way that you can. Whether that’s helping to cook, clear the table, or look after his younger siblings. Anything you can do for them that helps will not go unnoticed.
Helping is a natural part of being in a family, and it will help you become someone they can rely on.
When you show his family you are dependable and fully willing to get your hands dirty for the sake of his and his family’s happiness. They will open up their hearts to you.
13. Give Them Thoughtful Gifts
Giving his family a gift is an excellent way to make a good first impression. However, it’s not the gift that counts. It’s the thought you put into finding something that is perfect for them that matters.
If you can show you are considerate of the things they like or have gone out of your way to ask your boyfriend what his family might like as a gift. It shows you are a thoughtful person who’s keen to see their happiness.
Tip: It's the thought that counts! Keep control of your budget and get them something they really would like. You can also give them a gift jointly with your boyfriend.
A thoughtful gift can be anything big or small. As long as it’s something they really need or like. You’re bound to get the seal of approval from his family.
14. Pay Attention To The Little Things
Remember the little things about your boyfriend is important, but the same applies to his family too. Especially if you want to get closer to them.
You need to show his family that each time they see you, you can pick up the conversation where you left off last time because you remember.
This will help them to bond with you, and make them realize you’re a part of the family now.
Tip: Take note of important dates, birthdays, and anything you think will mean a lot to them as a family.
To get closer to your boyfriend’s family you need to show them that you remember and put value in the same things they do. The little things matter!
15. Give Them Compliments
Showering his family with compliments is a great way to win them over and make them feel closer to you.
It’s also a great way to break the ice and create a positive atmosphere to talk, or have continued conversation and get closer to them.
When you are complimenting his family, there are countless things you can say to them to show your appreciation.
You can compliment:
- How nice and welcoming they are being to you
- How much you are enjoying meeting them
- How beautiful you think their family home is
- How nicely dressed you think they all look
- How they did a good job raising your boyfriend
Find unique ways to show his family how much you appreciate them and share your delight about being in their company.
16. Say How Nice They Are
If you feel like your boyfriend’s family is being nice to you. Tell them, and explain why you appreciate it.
Everyone loves to hear they are being nice, or a nice person and his family is no exception. So when they say or do things you feel are nice. Be sure to tell them.
Whenever his family hears you are picking up on them treating you well. It will not go unnoticed, and it’s a great way to make them feel a lot closer to you as a person.
17. Arrange To Meet Them Alone
Once you are fully comfortable in the company of your boyfriend’s family and can talk freely or start to see them as your extended family. It’s a great opportunity to get closer to them by arranging to meet them on your own.
This gives his family the chance to see the real you without your boyfriend around. It also allows them to feel like they are bonding with you alone, independently of your boyfriend.
Arrange to meet them at their home, or plan a bite to eat with some of his family. Have a get-together and catch up to give them a real opportunity to feel closer to you.
18. Talk About Him
Talking about your boyfriend with his family is a sure-fire way to make them feel endeared by you.
It’s a great ice-breaker and shows your fully interested in learning more about your boyfriend.
Tip: Ask lots of questions about your boyfriend and learn new things about him.
They are looking to see if you are committed to him and see signs you genuinely enjoy being in the relationship. So talking about your boyfriend frequently is the best way to reassure them.
If they can see you are fully focused on your boyfriend and want to see him happy. They will see that you share the same values as them. This will inevitably bring you closer together.
19. Show That You Care About Him
Showing his family that you care for him with your actions and your words is guaranteed to make them like you more.
His family wants to know he’s being cared for, and that you are doing all the right things to keep the relationship happy and healthy.
Tell his family how much you care about or love him. Also, be sure they witness how close you are to one another.
Tip: Hold hands with him, and smile in his direction. His family want to see you care and love being in his company.
By displaying to his family or his parents that you care about him. They will like you and feel reassured that you are a good fit for their son.
More Ways To Make Your Boyfriend’s Family Like You (Bonding Tips)
If you want to get closer to his family and make them like you more. Bonding with them and giving his family more reasons to like you is seriously important.
There are many things you can do or say to make your boyfriend’s family like you more and give them a good first impression of you.
Here are some tips on the ways to make his family like you more and feel closer to you.
1. Flatter His Parents Taste
When you flatter his parent’s taste, it will show you like the same things they do. This will make them want to start a conversation with you, and help them feel closer with you.
2. Focus On His Siblings
An easy way to integrate yourself quickly into your boyfriend’s family is by focusing on his siblings. If you can show you get along with your boyfriend’s brothers and sisters. You will look like a good catch to the parents.
3. Always Be Open Minded
Always try to be open-minded during conversations with his family, and be prepared to understand a new viewpoint or opinion (Even if you don’t agree with it). This will help you all get along, and ensure that his family sees you are accepting.
4. Remember Important Dates
Remember important dates always. Be sure to pay attention to his family member’s birthdays, important family events, and family traditions. Showing you care about these dates will help them view you as part of the family.
5. Become A Part Of Family Traditions
If you can show your boyfriend’s family your willing to take on his family traditions in your stride. They will be far more accepting of you and feel much closer to you. They can see you want to join in the fun, or be a part of what they value most.
6. Keep Intimacy With Boyfriend To A Minimum
Avoid being overly intimate with your boyfriend in the presence of his family. For parents especially, seeing their son cuddled up, kissing his girlfriend in full view of the rest of the family can give them a bad impression of you.
Be polite, and do subtle things to show that you love your boyfriend.
Signs That Your Boyfriends Family Like You
The sure-fire signs his family is starting to like you and you have their approval.
1. They Always Greet You Warmly
Your boyfriend’s family always seems happy to see you and greet you with warmth. They offer you a hug and ensure that you’re taken care of upon arrival.
2. They Ask You How You’re Doing
His family always asks you how you are doing, and they want to ensure everything is going OK in your life. They ask you questions about what you’ve been up to and seem genuinely interested in what you have to say.
3. They Say You’re A Good Fit
His family and his parents say you’re a good fit together. When your boyfriend’s family says you make a good couple. It’s a sign you have their seal of approval and their blessings.
4. They Look Happy That He Found Love
When his family seems overjoyed that he’s found new love with you. It’s a sign that they really like you. They love seeing you happy together and want the relationship to continue into the future.
How Should You Act When You Meet Your Boyfriend’s Family?
When you meet your boyfriend’s family or his parents for the first time. You should try to always be yourself. It’s OK to feel nervous or a little worried. But try your best to be polite, well-mannered, and genuinely happy to see them.
It’s perfectly normal to feel nervous or act a little worried when meeting his family for the first time. This is because you don’t know what to expect or what their first impression of you will be. It’s completely natural.
However, if you try to act casual and be yourself. It will make things a lot easier for you.
The first time you meet your boyfriend’s family it’s all about them and you getting familiar with one another. So be confident and ask them questions about your boyfriend and share details about yourself.
Get to know them better, so you can build relationships with these new people in your life.
How Do You Make A Good First Impression When Meeting Your Boyfriend’s Family?
To make a good first impression on your boyfriend’s family. You should show them you’re fully interested in getting to know more about them. Be yourself, and give them reasons to approve of the relationship you share with your boyfriend.
To make a great first impression when meeting his family. It helps a lot if you learned all you can beforehand from your boyfriend.
If you already know about some of the things they get up to, or their names, birthdays, and hobbies or interests. It makes the early conversations with them go a lot more smoothly.
It also helps to be confident, dress appropriately for the occasion, and let them see how much you love or care for your boyfriend.
[Read: Signs Your Boyfriend’s Family Doesn’t Like You]
His parents are looking straight away to see if you are a good fit for their son. So make it easy for them by being a gracious guest, who’s well-mannered and fully interested in being a part of the family.
How Can I Stop Being Nervous Around My Boyfriends Family?
To stop yourself from being shy or nervous around your boyfriend’s family. You first need to ask yourself why it is happening in the first place, and if there is anything you can do to help you change these feelings you have.
You might feel nervous or shy because his family are very extroverted people, who are confident, outspoken, and fully willing to give their opinion and talk to you directly.
Or perhaps it’s because you don’t feel comfortable being close to your boyfriend around his family. Or putting your feelings for him on display.
Whatever the reason is, you can tackle and improve the situation by looking at why exactly you feel this way around them.
A great solution to feeling more comfortable around his family is by trying to talk to them more or asking them more questions about themselves.
This will help you feel a lot more familiar with his family members, and his parents. It will make you feel more at ease and more comfortable being in the company of his family.
You can also offer to help out as much as you can. This is a good middle ground when you are with his family. It ensures you are included in what is happening and gives you the opportunity to engage with them in a less direct setting.
Offer to help his parents set the table, assist with food preparation, or keep his younger siblings entertained. This will help you get a lot more familiar with being around them, and make these nervous feelings slowly go away.
What To Talk About With Your Boyfriend’s Family?
When you’re looking for things to talk about with your boyfriend’s family. Focus on sharing more things about yourself. Talk about him, discuss your interests, and share your hobbies. Also, ask them lots of questions to discover the common ground you share together.
If you are talking to his family, especially if it’s for the first time. It’s important to keep things light or conversational and avoid chatting about heavier topics.
It’s an opportunity for you to learn more about his family, and for them to start getting to know you better.
There are many things you can talk about with his family. You can…
- Ask them how they’re doing
- Ask them what they’ve been up to lately
- Talk about your boyfriend
- Share your hobbies and interests with them
- Talk about your job and what it’s like
- Talk about what you are studying or learning
- Ask them about family traditions
- Ask if they need help doing anything
- Compliment the meal and decor
- Compliment his family’s home
Keep things light and keeping the conversation flowing is a great way to get closer to his family.
Once you have moved past the initial ice-breaker questions or conversation. The discussion with his family is bound to flow a lot more naturally as they become more familiar with you.
If you feel a little nervous or shy to talk to your boyfriend’s family from the very start. Get him to help you familiarise yourself with his family. Talk to them as a couple, and get him to assist you when asking questions or sharing things about yourself.
