Knowing whether or not you should invite your new boyfriend to a wedding is no easy task as many people may lead you to believe. When it comes to your friends or family’s opinions, having your boyfriend down as your plus-one may seem like a given — or something most people would expect you to be doing.
However, for you, this could not be further from the truth. There is an entire decision-making process that needs to be put into play when thinking about if this is the right time for your boyfriend to start becoming a larger part of your life.
Considering how fast you should move things with your new boyfriend can become pretty tricky, especially very early on in the relationship.
You may have only been dating for a while — or been official for a few weeks or months. But already you’re one decision away from being seen as the new dynamic duo, deep in love, in full view of friends or family.
Figuring out how far you should take things early on, or even having your new boyfriend be in agreement with these plans can be a little bit of a minefield.
You may want him to be there with you — but you also don’t want anything to affect or change in your relationship dynamic due to your boyfriend being thrown right into the deep end of things with your friends or family.
Before you even consider inviting your new boyfriend to be your plus-one at your friend’s or family members wedding. There are a number of things you should strongly consider before making a decision.
Things You Should Consider Before Inviting Your New Boyfriend To A Wedding
When considering if inviting your new boyfriend to be your plus-one at someone’s wedding is a very good or a very bad idea. You first have to ask yourself some key questions that will help you make the right decision.
These questions will help to reveal to you whether now is the right time in your relationship together to start becoming more official as a couple, or in the eyes of others.
Also, they will help you realize some things which are often easily overlooked in regards to friends, family, and of course the bride and groom’s wedding day!
Who’s big day is this really?
Putting your new boyfriend to one side for a moment, it’s first super important to realize who’s special occasion or big day this all really is.
Weddings regardless of their size or the number of people attending should only ever be 100% about the bride and groom. This is a time for friends and family to be part of and celebrate two people getting married.
If you yourself are invited, then regardless of your status at the wedding. The bride and groom have personally selected you to be a part of their big day.
As a guest your not only there to have a good time and celebrate, but also bear witness and build lasting memories of the bride and groom’s wedding day.
It’s seriously important that this fact is fixed firmly at the center of your mind when considering all things relating to inviting your new boyfriend to a wedding.
As it can be ever so easy to become blindsided by other issues, or decisions and forget what being part of a beautiful wedding day is all about.
Are there any rules when it comes to using your plus-one?
Now that you’ve got your invite to the wedding you need to ensure there are no hidden expectations or rules about who you should be inviting as your plus-one. Not to mention ensuring you actually have a plus-one available, to begin with.
Quite often, the bride and groom will leave this open-ended allowing you to invite any one person of your choosing. However, sometimes there can be a caveat or rules in place to ensure you only invite someone they know or run things by the bride and groom beforehand.
The last thing you would want to do is turn up on the wedding day with someone the bride and groom were not expecting, or are not happy with you bringing along.
Ensure you have a plus-one, know the rules or expectations of the bride and groom, and if in doubt — Always check first!
Is your boyfriend happy to be invited as your plus-one?
The next thing to consider is whether or not your new boyfriend would actually be up for being your plus-one on the wedding day.
For him, agreeing to go along with you as your date or plus-one on a wedding day can be a pretty big deal. He’s not only going to be considering all the things that will be happening on the big day but also considering his current place in the relationship with you.
He might think it’s a little too early on in the relationship to be agreeing to go along with you or have worries or doubts about meeting your friends, family, and of course the bride and groom for the first time.
It’s best to test the waters with him. Have a conversation about your invite and bring up the fact you have a plus-one available to you. Without asking him outright, see what his reaction is and consider what it all means.
If he straight away figures out you’re going to ask him and he’s up for it then you’re all set to move forward providing you can effectively answer some of the larger questions.
If he makes no suggestion of being interested or avoids the conversation going forward. Then it could be a sign he thinks it’s a little early to be making this kind of commitment.
In any case, whatever his views are on being invited as your plus-one to a wedding. He’s either going to be happy to go with you, or he’s not. Neither one determines your relationship with him, but it may just be an indication of how he wants to move the relationship forward with you.
Is there a difference between inviting your boyfriend to friends or family weddings?
There can be a pretty big difference when considering if you should invite your new boyfriend to a friend or family member’s wedding.
Friends weddings are typically a lot more relaxed for you as a guest providing you do not play a prominent role such as a bridesmaid or maid of honor.
You will be free to mingle with other friends who are attending and compared to family weddings will often play a much lesser role. This makes it a much more laid black environment to share or be in with your new boyfriend as your plus-one.
Family weddings can be a bit more like throwing your new boyfriend in at the deep end. If you are related to the bride or groom, you will often play a much larger role in the organization of the wedding helping the bride and groom to prepare.
This can make the wedding day a little different for your new boyfriend to experience. Especially if it’s the first time he’s likely to meet large portions of your friends and family all in one place.
Considering the difference or level of expectation placed upon you as a friend or family member and how much you are presumed to be doing on the big day all play a role when deciding if it’s a good idea or not.
Why being a bridesmaid or maid of honor makes inviting your new boyfriend a bad idea?
If you have been chosen to be a bridesmaid or maid of honor for a friend or family member’s wedding. Then on the big day, you will be expected by the bride to always be available to carry out your duties and responsibility as bridesmaid or maid of honor.
Deciding whether or not you should invite your new boyfriend to a wedding where most of your time will be taken up ensuring the bride is happy, prepared and you are available for wedding photos should make this a straightforward decision.
As a bridesmaid, you will spend most of your time on the wedding day with the bride and would have a limited amount of time to spend with your boyfriend who’s also attending the wedding as your plus-one.
This makes inviting your new boyfriend to a wedding if you are chosen to be a bridesmaid a very bad idea. You simply won’t have enough time to juggle the two things all at once.
If he does not know anybody else attending the wedding, then your boyfriend finding themselves alone or with other guests for much of the wedding could make him feel pretty awkward.
If you have no choice but to invite your new boyfriend or are expected by the bride and groom to do so. It’s best to ensure your boyfriend is at least familiar or friendly with some of the other guests before the big day. This will help him out a lot — and also ensures he does not mind being left alone with other guests for large portions of the wedding day.
Is a wedding a good place for your boyfriend to meet family and friends for the first time?
It’s not the worst, but it’s definitely not the best place for your family or friends to meet your new boyfriend for the first time. Wedding days like anything else can all be different from one another.
Some weddings can be hectic or emotional occasions which can make introducing your new boyfriend seem like a bit of a nightmare. While other wedding days can be far more relaxed, laid back and a good environment to be mingling with other guests or family with your boyfriend in tow.
It’s hard to assume which of these the wedding you’re invited to will be, or how your friends or family will react to meeting your new boyfriend for the very first time.
So it’s always best to use your judgment, or at the very least get your friends or family use to the idea or expectation that they will be meeting your new boyfriend.
Providing your boyfriend’s arrival as your plus-one goes without a hitch and takes nothing away from the bride and groom’s big day. There should be no issues with having your boyfriend meet friends or family for the first time on the wedding day.
The last thing to ensure is that your boyfriend is actually happy to meet your friends or family this early on in the relationship. The last thing you would want is to have him down as your plus-one. Only to find out he pulls out or makes excuses as to why he can’t attend at the last second.
Will the bride and groom mind you turning up with your new boyfriend?
Something you should strongly consider before ever inviting your new boyfriend to a wedding will be the views of the bride and groom.
You seriously need to ensure that the bride and groom are happy that you are inviting your boyfriend along and that there are no hidden rules or expectations when it comes to who you can invite or choose as your plus-one.
Sometimes the bride and groom may have rules in place to ensure only people they know personally can attend the wedding day, or make it clear that boyfriends or partners not invited to the day can only attend in the evening.
So with this in mind, its best to ensure you do not doing anything that goes against the bride and grooms wishes for their big day. As the last thing you would want is to turn up with someone the bride and groom did not expect, or are not happy with you inviting.
Why should you be careful using your plus-one with a new boyfriend?
As with any big decision, it pays to think carefully about inviting your new boyfriend to a wedding where there could be issues or problems on the horizon.
One of the huge complications you may have when inviting your boyfriend to be your plus-one could be your ex-boyfriend being in attendance. It’s definitely not a good idea to invite your new boyfriend to a wedding where you know for a fact your ex-partner will be there.
This is made even more true if you still harbor some feelings for your ex, and definitely don’t want your new boyfriend to be around you while you go through this emotional turmoil during the wedding day.
The same can apply for friends or family issues. If you know there is someone attending the wedding you do not like, or get along with. Then bringing your new boyfriend along as your plus-one essentially paints a target on your back.
The last thing you want is people talking bad about you to your new boyfriend, or friends and family telling him all about your life story and past relationships.
Your boyfriend might find it funny, or he might find it to be a real turn off. So when considering whether or not you should invite your new boyfriend to a wedding. Think about the bigger picture and consider anything that could have a severe impact on your relationship together.
How Soon Is Too Soon To Invite Your New Boyfriend To A Wedding?
Now that you know some of the bigger questions you should be asking yourself or considering when it comes to inviting your boyfriend to a wedding.
It’s time to learn how soon is too soon when it comes to using your plus-one on a new boyfriend, and also why inviting him now might not be the best time for you or your relationship.
It’s too soon if you’re still not sure about the relationship.
If you have only just started dating or have not been in a relationship with your boyfriend for very long. It’s probably too soon to invite your boyfriend along to a wedding with all your friends and family.
This becomes even more true if you have any doubts or worries about how long the relationship may actually last. If you see things as a bit of a fling or short term thing. Then it’s a good idea not to make things more official by using your new boyfriend as your plus-one to a wedding.
In his eyes, this can be a pretty big deal. It’s practically another date you are inviting him to, and unless you want to be accused of leading him on if you break things off shortly after. Then it’s wise to consider how far along your relationship really is before committing to having him as your chosen guest to a wedding.
It’s a little too soon if you’re currently not exclusive.
If you have yet to give each other the title of boyfriend or girlfriend and are not currently exclusive. You are still very much in the getting-to-know-you stage of your relationship together.
This can make it a pretty bad idea, and fairly awkward if you do decide to bring him along as your plus-one to the wedding. Family members or friends won’t really know what the deal is with you both. They won’t know if you’re official or if he is happy to be referred to as your current boyfriend.
As on face value you look like a couple, but this may not actually be the case. When your not exclusive, this can put a lot of pressure or strain on you both actually spending the time to get to know each other.
If he gets put under pressure on the wedding day to commit to you by your friends or family or hears embarrassing stories about your past. This could be a real turn off for him or actually affect how he views you and being in a relationship with you moving forward.
It’s too soon if your boyfriend avoids conversations about going with you.
If you have talked to your boyfriend about the potential of him being your plus-one to a wedding or implied you might think about asking him. If he avoids these conversations at all costs, ignores you, or openly explains his wishes not to go.
Then it’s definitely too soon to be bringing him along to a friend or family member’s wedding. It’s basically his way of saying “This is way too soon for me!” and likely a sign he wants to move things along a little more slowly with you.
Perhaps he just doesn’t like weddings or the idea of people getting married? Or maybe he has some hangups about being seen as a couple in the eyes of your friends or family this early on in your relationship.
Whatever the case may be if he avoids conversations about accepting your invite or actively avoids the topic of you being invited to a wedding altogether. Then it’s a surefire sign it’s far too soon for him and he’s just not ready.
It’s far too soon if you’re not sure how they handle intimate social settings.
Are you familiar with how your boyfriend handles larger social settings or gets along in big groups of people they don’t know? If you really don’t, then it’s probably a bad idea and too soon to be inviting him along to a wedding full of people he doesn’t know.
Sure, he might get along just fine and transform into a bit of a social butterfly. But there is no way to know this for sure. If you have any doubts about how your boyfriend gets along socially with others, or have not spent enough time around him and other large groups of people.
Then it’s a good idea to hold off inviting him as your plus-one to a wedding. This is also true when it comes to meeting your friends or family for the first time. You will want this to be in a more relaxed setting where he and your friends or family can talk freely without the restraints and everything involved with a wedding day!
Conclusion
Knowing if you should invite your new boyfriend to a wedding can be a pretty big decision to make.
You may have only been dating for a while or been official for a small amount of time. Yet, you have this large looming decision to make about whether or not to take your boyfriend along as your plus-one to someone’s wedding.
If you ask yourself some of the important questions we’ve suggested, this will go a long way to figuring out if inviting him is a very good or a very bad idea.
You want everything about it to feel right, and to ensure nothing can go wrong that will affect your relationship with him, and also on the wedding day!
Figuring out how soon is too soon should also play a huge role in your considerations. Your relationship together simply may not be ready for such a high level of commitment to be expected from him. You might realize you still need more time to get to know each other better or feel fully comfortable being seen as a couple on an occasion like a wedding.
Once you have considered all the things that are involved when inviting your boyfriend to a friend or family member’s wedding. Pro’s, Con’s, the good things, and the bad.
You will have a much clearer picture and a better idea of which of the two is the right decision to make — and which of the two is shrouded in doubts, worries, concerns, and very much the wrong decision to be made.