Once a cheater, always a cheater as the saying goes, never underestimate a cheater’s ability to lie or surrender excuses to you in order to hide their infidelity.
If you have ever been cheated on and hold all the proof. There is no other way for you to take this news other than a huge betrayal of your trust.
When you confront them about their apparent infidelity, you can expect to be greeted by a barrage of lies or alibis to excuse their behavior. Not only that but most cheaters never truly believe it’s actually their fault even if they do come clean.
Cheaters will often find ways to lie and say its even your fault or perhaps even someone else’s. They try to shift all of the blame away from themselves and weasel out of a compromising situation.
The cheating is bad enough, but the constant lying makes it some much worse. It only leaves you with some seriously hard decisions to make about your relationship together, and you hit a crossroads on whether or not to continue being with this person.
Here are some of the most common lies that cheaters tell you, which as a result is basically them lying to themselves!
1. I Don’t Understand What I’ve Done Wrong.
They know exactly what they’ve done wrong! Cheating is a betrayal while in a committed relationship and they know this. This is a complete and utter lie.
Cheaters who say “I don’t understand what I’ve done wrong” or say things like “I don’t see how this is cheating” are trying to pull the victim card. They are trying to turn the tables on you, and make it more about your reaction to them cheating than the actual problem at hand.
2. I’ll Never Do This Again To You.
There is a reason people say “Once a cheater, always a cheater” as more often than not this saying runs true to form. Many cheaters will become repeat offenders and always say it’s the last time they will ever do something like this.
However, if they have done it once and got away with it. It’s firmly lodged as a possibility of something to do while in a relationship in the future. Unless they make an active change to cut out this behavior. It might turn into a recurring problem for you.
3. I Promise I Can Change.
This is a lie until you are proven wrong. They are likely old enough and mature enough to know what committing to a relationship should truly be.
Old habits die hard, and change like this does not come easy. Unless they are willing to make real change for you and prove they can put a real stop to this behavior. There is no real way for you to ever believe they can change or remain faithful to you and the relationship as a whole.
4. You’ve Been Really Distant Lately.
This lie is the perfect embodiment of when a cheater tries to pass all of the blame and reasons for them cheating onto you. It’s a typical cheater mentality or mindset.
They might even genuinely believe you are the problem, and its all your fault they cheated. Forgetting the fact you had nothing to do with it, and all they had to do if you were being truly distant with them is talk to you about it.
You do not play a role in their cheating or chosen behaviour. So put simply, don’t fall into the trap of believing this.
5. She Is Only A Friend.
She’s really not! Since when do most friends engage in romantic or intimate relationships together that could be clearly seen as cheating on you? She’s not just a friend but also a side-chick.
When a cheater says “They’re just a friend!” what they are really saying is “I wish you hadn’t found out!” If they are not ashamed of cheating on you, then why should they be ashamed of just admitting it, and stop lying!
6. I Was Weak In That Moment.
Saying it was a moment of weakness simply doesn’t cut it. It’s one thing to have a moment of weakness with food, or spending loads of money on clothes. But saying you cheated because of a weak moment just shows you can’t handle these relationship ending temptations.
We can all become weak when we are sexually attracted to someone and have temptations. However, acting upon these and giving into these temptations is where the real problem lies. It’s devaluing your entire relationship together, and there is no excuse to be placing a bit of fun over your loyalty to another person.
7. You’re Being Crazy Or Paranoid.
You’re really not. You are acting the same way anyone else would be in your situation. It’s perfectly normal to freak out if you happen to find out they’ve been cheating on you.
If they’re saying your acting crazy or being paranoid. It’s likely just an attempt from them to try to diffuse your anger and deflect some of their own faults or misgivings on you.
8. It’s All Her Fault She Made The First Move.
So what if she did happen to make the first move! He still gave into temptation and played along with her approaches and cheated on you.
Apparently in his mind you are meant to believe he had no choice in the matter, and he simply couldn’t walk away or escape from the ordeal. This is simply untrue and a total lie.
They are both to blame, especially if she knew you were both together. However, the only person you can really held accountable for cheating on you is him.
9. I Blame You, You Pushed Me To This.
If he says you are the one who pushed him into cheating or being unfaithful, this could not be further from the truth. It’s yet another attempt to try and shift the blame. He’s simply looking to escape the situation he’s put himself in as a result of his own actions.
Saying you are to blame for him cheating is likely the only excuse he can come with. Just don’t buy it.
[Read: The 18 Surefire Signs Your Boyfriend Is Cheating!]
If there were things he believed you were doing in the relationship that could cause him to take these actions, why would he not confront you about these beforehand, or talk to you about the things he deems you to be doing wrong?
Don’t take ownership of his mistakes.
10. It Was Only Sex. I Only Want You.
It was not just sex, it was a severe betrayal of trust and loyalty on his part. If he tries to downplay his actions and treat being intimate with someone else like it meant nothing to him. Don’t believe this for a second!
If he only wants you, and loves you. Why would he not also only want to have sex with you, and only you?
Sure, he might still love you but that fact is he cheated, and it’s heartbreaking. Knowing he’s been intimate with someone else is a huge hurdle to get past if you want to continue the relationship. This is why many couples who hit this relationship brick wall struggle to get past it. The breakdown in trust is a hard thing to recover.
11. You’re Never Willing To Try Anything New.
You may not be as adventurous as he wants you to be in bed, but does this mean he gets a free pass to sleep with someone else? No-no-no!
It’s a feeble excuse for cheating on someone. If he really had these feelings or thoughts about wanting you to try new things in bed. Then why would he not openly discuss these things with you, or suggest new things you could both try that you would both be comfortable with?
For him to go seeking someone else behind your back on the assumption you’re not willing to try new things is just not right. Also, it’s not like he’s given you a free pass to sleep with other men as well…
12. I Was Drunk.
Blaming the reason you were unfaithful on drinking too much alcohol can never really be a justifiable excuse for cheating on someone. It shows a severe lack of self-control on his part and displays a willingness to put himself into compromising situations that could affect your relationship together.
We can all do silly or stupid things when we are drunk, but we all still have to live with the consequences of those actions the day after. Don’t let him off the hook that easy, its more often than not a common lie to escape the reality of being caught red-handed.
13. Everybody Else Is Doing It.
Cheaters will often like to rationalize their unfaithful actions by telling themselves that everyone else is doing it, and perhaps even think everyone’s getting away with it. Even if everyone else was doing it, it does not mean that it’s right or a good excuse or lie to tell yourself and your partner.
You want a man that is faithful, loyal, and with his heart in the right place. Not someone who follows the herd, or feeds into this idea that everyone is being unfaithful because it really is a falsehood. There are some really great men out there!
14. It Wasn’t Technically Cheating.
When you are cheating on someone, this does not always need to be a physical act. Sure, it can lead to this and become more severe, but it can also mean being unfaithful emotionally or confiding hidden thoughts or feelings with someone else outside the relationship.
If he’s doing this to you, and pulling you up on all the technicalities of why it’s not cheating. Just remember, he’s basically living a double life with this person. He’s investing emotionally with them, and they probably know a lot of things about him that you don’t.
Once this begins to happen, it can become a slippy slope. The emotional void in your relationship together is being filled by someone else. It’s only a matter of time until the emotional and physical sides begin to overlap.
15. It Didn’t Mean Anything To Me.
This has to be up there with one of the most common lies any cheater will tell you. Saying it didn’t mean anything, is their way of passing off any blame or responsibility for their own actions.
Sure, it might not mean anything to them as they did not get emotionally attached to this person, but it sure does mean something to you!
That’s what they are forgetting. It’s rude and pretty insulting to say the least. It shows a severe lack of thought and an open disregard for your feelings or the relationship together as a whole.
Common Lies That Cheaters Tell You – Conclusion
They are more concerned about their own desires than yours. A cheater often begins cheating because they start believing in their own lies.
It’s how they try to rationalize things within their own head, and it’s essential for them that you follow suit or believe all these lies and tall-tales.
Just refuse, don’t fall for them, and tackle all of them head-on especially if you have proof to the contrary. Get the real answers that you deserve.
There is nothing wrong with confronting a cheater hot-headed with your emotions boiling over. You are upset, angry and just want them to see how much it hurts. It’s natural to let all your emotions spill out, as this person has turned into someone you never genuinely thought they could be.
It’s only ever going to be your decision, and yours alone if you do decide to continue the relationship with them, or end things right here and now.
Much of that depends on the severity of their actions or lies to you. If you do choose to continue, this will rely on huge changes on their part. The trust in the relationship will need to be rebuilt from the ground up, and that’s not always an easy thing to accomplish if you are not both pulling in the same direction.
